It's been a hard fought couple of years, but, finally, with great trepidation, I find myself graduating next weekend with the college degree I should've graduated with 25 years ago. Oh, I've got both two year college degrees under my belt, but this time it is the big kahuna, a bachelors degree. Summa Cum Laude with a near perfect GPA to boot.
I think back on the time when I first proposed going back to school with my wife......how she and the elders who visited me poo-pooed education and exclaimed that it would be a big waste of time. How they proclaimed that I should be going to meetings more or looking for ways to be more active in the congregation and pioneer. If I had taken that advice, in this current financial market, we'd both still be sitting in a one bedroom apartment trying to figure out how to make next months rent.
Every aspect of our lives have improved I think in part of my educational endeavors and my refusal to follow their ill conceived advice, rules and paint myself into the WT well designed corner. We've went from living in a one bedroom apartment with nothing but a full size boxspring and mattress on the floor and a black and white 13" TV to living a pretty standard middle class lifestyle. I've went from a typical burger flipping job at the local greasy spoon to a pretty stable job in technology that pays well. It has been 15 years since she has worked secularly. Our only kid is well adjusted, out on his own and self supporting. In all respects, I should be feeling like Job well done.....Right?
My wife was getting ready for meeting today and she came into the room with a sad look on her face wringing her hands. I asked her what was the problem....she just looked down at her feet and refused to answer. I asked her to come and sit next to me which she did. I calmly asked her what was the problem and if there was anything she needed or anything I can do. She said nothing, so, I pulled her next to me and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Thereafter, she continued finishing getting dressed and went to meeting.
But, I knew what was on her mind. I'd seen that look before. I'm not going to meetings anymore. I'm not a believer anymore. And that makes her sad. Yes she's happy that I'm graduating, talks me up to her friends all the time, is just as much interested in my final grades as I am, and have actually encouraged me to seek a masters, but in all, its really just formally dressing up a pig in the eyes of her faith.
But I am trudging on....... I make her life as easy as I can and in all other aspects she respects and appreciates it. And I am finding satisfaction and contentment in our lives where I can.
Kinda feel like I'm babbbling. But here goes......
Had a talk with the boss the other day. Big change of plans for me coming up that will only enhance my professional growth and employable desirability. For the next few weeks I am going to have to find some activity to fill in the time I usually spent studying, reading or writing reports. But, near the end of next month, it begins again. The pursuit of a masters. On to bigger and better.