My Story

by Uboat_Ninja 8 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Uboat_Ninja
    Uboat_Ninja

    First off I'd like to say how exstatic I am about finding this site.
    Finally I can get this off my chest, and to people who might understand. Well here goes.

    My name is Aaron and I am 25 years old. I was born in and raised in San Diego. Let me start with my mother. My mother is a Jehovah's Witness to this day. She was a married (and by all accounts happy) woman living with her husband of over 10 years and her oldest son, and 2 daughters. One day a JW came to her door and she wen't wild for the JW dogma. Her husband would not accept her going to meetings and was angry that she was changing from the woman he had married. THey eventually divorced.

    Here's where I come in. My mother meets my father, whose parents are both JW's. He hasn't really been into the JW thing but he wants to marry my mom so he gets baptised. Well you know what happens, they divorce. However in the short marriage my mom became pregnant with me.
    My Dad leaves the picture like a true gentleman. Now a brief psychological glimpse at my mother around the time of my birth. The way I see it she had seen much dissapointment and heartbreak in the time since becoming a JW. Also her children now were becoming very rebellious. they expiremented with drugs and the sort. Now her youngest other than me, young Leslie (remember her) probably 11 or 12 was doting along with mommy to the Kingdom Hall like a good little girl.

    So anyhow I'm born and all is kosher for now. When I'm about 5 years old however, young Leslie starts rebelling as well. She's playing sick from meetings to hang out and smoke pot with boys, and doing all sorts of unbecoming things for a young JW. Basically she never really buys into the shit. I admire her for that. Eventually Leslie leaves home and dissapears for a couple years. Now here I am 5 years old living with my mom. I know that at this point she began to look at me different. Instead of a son, I became a project. A possession if you will. All of her children had embarassed her in the eyes of her fellow JW's, but I would be different. Boy would I.

    I was a hyperactive kid, and doesn't that fit lovely with 3 weekly meetings totalling 5 hours? Anyhow I'm stuggling to keep still and look up my scriptures as a young lad. OMG who makes a kid look up scriptures!?? Im sorry I get angry thinking about it. So anyhow I get into trouble at school, get poor grades and am not diggin things too much. The clique at the Kingdom hall talks alot don't you know so now I'm a "bad kid". So know I am robbed of having friends. I am not allowed to visit "worldy" kids from school. So I'm stuck getting teased and called names by the kids in the Kingdom Hall, who were ginen a "dont give a shit about Aaron card" from their parents. I honestly feel like I was raised like veal.

    I remember one day, I was about 13 or 14 and the dreaded talk list came upon me. I had to give one of those 5 minute talks in the Theocratic Ministry School. I was becoming a young man and was starting to rebel a little myself and I decided I wouldnt prepare for the talk. It did'nt seem that important to me. I honestly thought, whats the worst that'll happen. Ill just go up to Elder so and so and say sorry I don't have it prepared (I hated talks). So my mom is getting ready for the meeting and she discovers I'm not prepared. She says your going to give that talk". I say flatly "I'm not gonna go then". She has a mental breakdown at this point. She pounces on me and starts punching me sobbing like a lunatic. Anyways I used to feel horrible when my Mom would cry, but as I grew up I began to loathe everything she represented. Ignorance, vanity, blind devotion, stubborness. I remember laughing as she cried later. It makes me feel sick to say that but it's true.

    Anyhow eventually I moved out, and since have struggled to find my identity after being put through the concentration camp called JW society. I have no relationship with my mother aside from a phonecall every 6 months or so. She still dutifully attends the Kingdom Hall. I feel so much hate towards the organisation sometimes I can barely stand it. It robbed me of my youth, my freedom from fear (armageddon anyone?), and my own mother. Thank god (term used loosely) I am somewhat sane after all that shit. To think of the young kids having to go through what I did makes me neaseous. Sorry for this boring long rant but its been brewing for 25 years!

    Thank you

  • Seeker
    Seeker

    Welcome, Aaron! These "boring long rants" aren't boring to those of us who have lived through or witnessed similar things. We know how it was, and we understand.

    Glad to have you here, and glad to see you posting. May your healing process continue.

  • Beck_Melbourne
    Beck_Melbourne

    Hi Aaron

    Thanks for sharing your story...I hope that you will find this forum as refreshing as I have. You will no doubt be nodding your head in agreement or smiling with amusement when you read different experiences or comments....but the best thing is knowing that there are others who have been thru a similar experience to your own. I am also new here ...and I am yet to get my story out but I am too busy reading everyone elses.

    I was wondering if we were related to me because your mother sounds like mine lol. My siblings and I were annually dragged to assemblies and conventions and we NEVER missed a meeting....as my JW mother and grandmother felt that meeting attendance was the ultimate expression of their faith...BULLOCKS.

    There is one thing to be gained from your experience growing up in the truth...and that is you know first hand what type of parent you DONT want to be. You can offer your own children (if and when you choose to have any) a life without fear...where they can sing xmas songs at school with the other kids...or happy birthday when they attend their friends birthday party. They can also look forward to pursuing a career or setting academic goals...and they can also look forward to dating and establishing friendships.

    I hope you find your recovery easier...now that you have found this forum. I only wish that I had known about it when I first left.

    All the best Aaron and thanks for sharing.

    Beck

  • NameWithheld
    NameWithheld

    Aaron, your story sounds so familiar ... I'm fairly sure now that my parents divorce (me 3 years old) was largely due to the JW wackyness. I suspect the failure of the 1975 thing pull the nail in the coffin of JWness for my real father. When I see how badly my mother suffered/suffers for the JW printing corporation it does make my blood boil. But she still buys into it lock stock and barrel. The big A is 'any day now' you know.

    Growing up sifting scriptures, sitting still for hours, preparing talks, grueling 10+ hours days of FS in hot/cold weather, being told the Bethel was the place to go (temped once - hated it), and living under constant fear of the big A - what if you were jerking off when it came - god would surely kill you! Demons under every rock, guilt for every small wrongdoing ... it's a wonder any of us are still sane!

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Thanks Aaron, your story made me think.

    I was one of those elders once. The kind for whom the fulfillment of your School Assignment was a big deal, as was getting your report in at the end of the month. Largely because my job was made difficult if the brothers didnt, and so it goes around.

    I have guilt now. I am sorry for all those kids I encouraged in the J W way, I am sorry for all the rubbish that I taught as fact. I am sorry for the lad that I once "Brought in the truth", my one big success in decades of slogging in "The Ministry". I wish i were able to find him and tell him what I now know.

    At least I can add a small voice to the net . If any one is lurking out their and still active in the faith, for Gods sake read on - pick up all the points from the sites, and find a way out before your life is gone....

  • slipnslidemaster
    slipnslidemaster

    I'm glad that you're here. It wasn't boring. It was nice to hear that you are on the right road now.

    It's long and windy but you're going to be ok. You're not alone.

    Slipnslidemaster: "Facts are the enemy of truth."

    - Don Quixote

  • zev
    zev
    First off I'd like to say how exstatic I am about finding this site.

    we're happy you found us to!

    and since have struggled to find my identity after being put through the concentration camp called JW society.

    i can relate. i was in for 40 long years.
    i know the struggles your talking about.

    but it gets better, and a place like this is where it all begins.

    welcome!

    -Zev
    Learn about the Wtbts and the U.N.
    ** http://www.geocities.com/plowbitch69 **

  • ghenrymt
    ghenrymt

    Hi Aaron,

    I hope you come back and read this. It has been a few days since you posted your story.

    I was a JW for over 30 years. My life is a big mess right now. I unleashed powerful evil forces (mostly earthly, I think) on myself by trying to force-fit myself into that organization, and denying and failing to honor my true self.

    But, part of my new spirituality is actually the belief that everything happens for a reason. We live in a Universe (we are part of God and God is in us, if you will) that is fundamentally beneficent TO US as individuals, and we can be happy to the extent that we recognize that and learn from whatever situations and circumstances we find ourselves in. I have some interesting lessons yet to learn, apparently.

    I am glad to have read about your life. It is interesting to see how different people evolved away from the organization.

    Love and regards,
    George Henry

    I would rather live in a world where my life is surrounded by mystery
    than live in a world so small that my mind could comprehend it.
    - Harry Emerson Fosdick

  • IMBlueFire
    IMBlueFire

    Hi Aaron....nice to meet you. We're very happy you found this place too!

    It hurts my heart to hear your story. I can feel your pain. I know what it's like to live in what I call JW limbo. It's a lonely place...until you find that there are lots of other people (us) who are there with you, for you.

    You are still young and have so many years to experience life and find yourself.

    Remember, the best revenge is your success.

    blue

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