Right there with you. Never thought I'd come to this point when I was a JW. Looking at the old testatment, it's one thing after another. Would an intelligent, God of love do these things? He's constantly wishy-washy. Create, then feels like destroying. Helps the Israelites, then wants to wipe them out. Sends Moses to Egypt, then for some unexplained reason, he's about to kill him on the way (saved by having a freshly cut foreskin touched to him - WTF???).
You constantly look at decision after decision. Hmmm, humans pissing you off? Let's send a flood to wipe out virtually all life on earth (vast majority not being human). Couldn't he send angels like he did to kill the firstborn sons of Egypt? Seems a lot easier than getting all the animals from all over the earth to one place and keeping saltwater and fresh water separted so the fish can survive and supressing the natural instincts of life onboard. And the guy you save is a drunk who curses his kids when they see him passed out naked and drunk? Wow! I'd have saved somebody else. But, then again, Noah's not that far off from the angry God himself.
The old testament reminds me of the fables and mythology we read about from other cultures, where fireflies become the stars in the sky or something as ridiculous. Except not quite as exciting in most cases.
I evolved from leaving the JWs, disagreeing with some teachings, but still believing many of the basic principles JWs taught. Then questioning some of those. Like trinity. I can see it both ways in the Bible.
Then I was sort of, I can do this on my own. Believe, but not have a religion. And all religions are paths to God and are OK.
I think the right-wing Christian movement in America actually pushed me to question God more by their stupidity and rejection of science. I took an even more critical look at the Bible and started to think of some things as fables (creation account, flood, etc.).
I also saw the Bible contradicting itself. And instead of trying to twist things into an answer that somehow could kinda make sense if I tilt my head and squint, this time I took it at face value. It contradicts itself. It can't be divine. If it's not divine, then it was just men that wrote it. Men wrote all kinds of things I don't believe. I have no reason to follow men's teachings unless I see wisdom in them. And declaring your writings divine isn't wisdom.
Is there a God? Who knows? There may be. But I know one thing, for all our sakes, I certainly hope he/she is a more intelligent, rational being than the one described in the Bible.
And yes, the Jesus parts in the Bible are a little more philosophical. And probably has merit in that sense as do other ancient philosophers. Whether Jesus actually said all those things or not, who knows? The bible books which describe him the most were among the latest written, long after firsthand witnesses would have had fuzzy memories, if they were even alive.
