Additions to the Periodic Table

by Flaming Seraphim 0 Replies latest social humour

  • Flaming Seraphim
    Flaming Seraphim

    Element Name: WOMAN
    Symbol: WO

    Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

    Physical properties:
    · Generally round in form.
    · Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time.
    · Melts whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

    Chemical properties:
    · Very Active.
    · Highly unstable.
    · Volatile when left alone.
    · Able to absorb great amounts of exotic foods.
    · Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.
    · Turns slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

    Usage:
    · Highly ornamental.
    · An extremely good catalyst for the dispersion of wealth.
    · Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

    Caution:
    · Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

    Element Name: MAN
    Symbol: XY

    Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50 lb.)

    Physical properties:
    · Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily.
    · Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
    · Extremely difficult to find a pure sample.
    · Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduit electricity as easily as young samples.

    Chemical properties:
    · Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can gets.
    · Also tends to form strong bonds with itself.
    · Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time.
    · Neutralized successfully by saturating with alcohol.

    Usage:
    · Has not been discovered yet.

    Caution:
    · In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

    Flaming Seraphim.
    ~ Every unsuccessful attempt to organize Spirituality results in a Religion.

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