Kaethra's comment on a sister's paranoia about slander behind her back got me thinking of my mums own suspicions.
She married my dad when he was an unbaptized person and this was frowned upon. She'd been previously married and had to divorce cause he had another wife in another country. So she already had this over her head. Then all us kids turn out to be 'black shee' and leave the org as we grew. Dad left not long after they were married and she has endured crap from his jw parents for years. Eventually they pushed her straight out of the family and she got fed up and divorced. Then they turn round and say that she shouldn't have divorced dad, it wasn't christian, she had no grounds (he was sleeping round, truckie's are renowned for this). They absolutely gave her hell. Now I don't class these two as jw's or even as grandparents, they are hypocrites.
So now my mother, divorced for 10 years is paranoid that my grandparents have spread lies about her everywhere they went. Whenever she moves to a new congregation, she is fine for the first week, everyone comes up and smiles and gets to know you. Then I guess your history arrives from the previous congregation and all is revealed. Mum has been the best witness eva and I thank her for the great moral start she gave me in life. She is just so depressed now that no one cares and they all judge her for her past marriage even though it wasn't her fault. My grandparents are especially cruel. I used to tell mum it was all in her mind, now I'm not so sure.
I've now read many an istance where the new congregation gets a letter from the previous elders, telling them all about the new bro/sis and they're history, whether it be field service records, judical meetings, probably how many times you go to the toilet during songs and parts, whether you're tardy, and how often you smile at the elders. My mum has suffered years of mental torment not knowing where she stands in the congregations she goes too. I'm deeply hurt that she can't just forget about them and get on with serving Jehovah afterall his opinion is the only one who counts. Now I think she has a personality disorder, very low self esteem. Like mother like daughter. Luv you mum!!!!!!
I've got lots of luv to give, but no one wants it! - Mona.