Well, the latest yearbook tells a sad story: 263,131 baptized versus 294,368 in the previous year.
A nasty decline...... obviously, this situation calls for something fake and superficial to remedy it, Governing Body-style!
The Glorious Masters of Time And Space discerned some malaise in the organization, so they cut hours for Auxiliary Pioneering and got a huge increase! In previous years, they cut the minimum time per month needed to be a publisher from 1 hour down to 15 minutes! Years before that, they couldn't get enough young men to volunteer for Bethel Service for 4 years so they cut it to 1 year ( and now they're tossing them in the street)
Oh, and reading level? This religion started with stuff like "The Object and Manner of Our Lord's Return" and now produce literature written like "The Cat In The Hat Comes Back".
So, you see: compromise standards and....... you get better numbers! It works like magic!
What can they do about declining baptisms? Well.....they could....
Offer a trial Dedication and Baptism just like online dating and porn sites. After 3 months, you gotta tell them (in writing) that you don't wanna continue. If you don't, you're stuck with being a Witness.
Or (from Monopoly) a "Get Out of a Judicial Committee Meeting Free" card. For 6 months, you can commit any single serious sin and get out of it by waving the card. If you are a teenager - and accustomed to 'testing the limits', as most teenagers do - I suggest you seduce the C.O.'s wife. She's probably neglected, lonely and Really Wanted A Baby, anyway.
Or just declare a General Judicial Amnesty in all congregations! Just confess, walk away and stop whatever naughtiness you're involved in (ha - ha). Less record-keeping for the elders who are protecting child molesters!
Anyhow, every so often Jehovah's Celestial Chariot gets its wheels stuck in the wetlands and needs a little push to get going again. Just a few modest suggestions from someone trying to be helpful.
metatron