My wife and I have been fading / faded for many years now, it was made easier by an elder 'balls up' over a very serious matter [they say "you have a right to be angry, but you shouldn't loose Jehovah's favour by staying away from meetings, buuuut!!?.] Although I have reacted quite strongly to some elders who came by, even admitting to getting court cases off the 'internet', it was passed as 'he's angry'.
I had got to the point where I had decided I didn't care, I would just speak even more openly than I had been [and properly be d/f] when I observed the following happening:
As mentioned we have not been disfellowshiped, but are treated as such by most of the congregation, and by my wife's family who are nearly all in.
She has [immediate family] a brother who lives the other side of the country and is a pioneering MS, a brother who is a few hours drive away and has never been in, and her father and step mother, who live a full days drive away, who are both of the supposed anointed class. A while ago the father-in-law came down and stayed a couple of weeks+ with my non witness brother-in-law [which is good as he is a widow with a farm to run] but then he arrived at our door, both of us answered the door," Hi, come on in and have a cuppa" "No thanks got to be in xxxx by [sometime"] [ this was about three quarters of the way home where he had a bible study] This said whilst nervously going from one foot to the other. A few more quick words and he turned on his heel and nearly ran to the car.
I said to my wife "if that's an example of the extra love and Holy Spirit that breed is supposed to have/ show then I see more from our dog". She totally agreed.
We talk a lot and very freely with my brother-in-law [whom the father-in-law witness's to non-stop when he's there and on the phone] and when we told of the above he said 'I've got one word for them, [by them he meant the org as a whole] Hypocrites". Being a cattleman he has dealings with many, including not only locals but truckies from far off, so the hypocrite story has covered a fair area.
From the platform we were always told that our observable conduct / actions could win a soul over, its interesting to see the reverse, when their shunning / disfellowshiping policy works in reverse against them, and comes around and bites them in the bum. Any similar observations FF