Classic comedy routine...

by Glander 5 Replies latest social humour

  • Glander
    Glander


    COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America .

    ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 9%.

    COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?

    ABBOTT: No, that's 16%

    .COSTELLO: You just said 9%.

    ABBOTT: 9% Unemployed.

    COSTELLO: Right 9% out of work.

    ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.

    COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 16% unemployed

    .ABBOTT: No, that's 9%...

    COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 9% or 16%?

    ABBOTT: 9% are unemployed. 16% are out of work.

    COSTELLO: IF you are out of work you are unemployed.

    ABBOTT: No, you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.

    COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!

    ABBOTT: No, you miss my point.

    COSTELLO: What point?

    ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work, can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.

    COSTELLO: To who?

    ABBOTT: The unemployed.

    COSTELLO: But they are ALL out of work.

    ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work... Those who are out of work stopped looking. They gave up. And, if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.

    COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles, that would count as less unemployment?

    ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!

    COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?

    ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how you get to 9%. Otherwise, it would be 16%. You don't want to read about 16% unemployment

    do ya?

    COSTELLO: That would be frightening.

    ABBOTT: Absolutely.

    COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means they're two ways to bring down the unemployment number?

    ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.

    COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?

    ABBOTT: Correct.

    COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?

    ABBOTT: Bingo.

    COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to just stop looking for work.

    ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like the president.

    COSTELLO: I don't even know what the heck I just said!

  • Glander
    Glander

    Reminds me of the "who's on first" routine.

    This thread will go viral!

  • glenster
    glenster

    If only faces could talk...
    - Pat Summerall, Sportscaster, during the Super Bowl

    I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to.
    - Linda Evangelista, Supermodel

    Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the
    country.
    - Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

    And now the sequence of events in no particular order.
    - Dan Rather, television news anchor

    Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't
    help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies
    and death and stuff.
    - Mariah Carey, pop singer

    Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.
    - Gyrator, Chicago Rotary Club journal

    I do not like this word "bomb." It is not a bomb. It is a device that is
    exploding.
    - Jacques le Blanc, French ambassador on nuclear weapons
    http://www.2spare.com/item_83287.aspx

  • Glander
  • smiddy
    smiddy

    Glenster: I had tears in my eyes reading those.LOL

    Glander:A&C had some of the most classic routines of their time

    smiddy

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    dunno where you are from Glander

    but here in australia we have two politicans, one abbot, one costello!

    how funny is that?!

    Oz

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