More Self Therapy

by Indian Larry 6 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Indian Larry

  Don’t Push Me Under

  You know what?

  I am not crazy.

  I have a conscience.

  So what. There is nothing wrong with that.

  I am concerned about my standing with God.

  I am concerned about how I will answer on judgement day.

  I try to be a good father.

  I try to be a good son.

  I try to be a good husband.

  Is that crazy?

  Yes, I have doubts.

  The bible tells us to verify the truth.

  We are encouraged to test things we are told

  I did. I checked what I was taught.

  Things don’t add up.

  Is my math wrong? Why won’t anyone check my homework?

  Others refuse to look, they are afraid of what they will see.

  Like a flock of storks with heads in the sand.

  Ignoring problems does not make them go away.

  Which is truth? How do we tell?

  It is simple. The bible should be the yardstick.

  If man disagrees with God. Pick your side.

  I choose God.

  If that means I am crazy. So be it.

  If that means I am to be shunned. Then shun me.

  If I am wrong, please pray for me.

  If I am wrong, show me my error.

  I feel like I am drowning.

  I am looking up at the dock.

  Pleading for a life ring, a rope a hand anything.

  No one wants to help.

  Tsk tsk, they whisper. “he shouldn’t have got near the water”

  “Oh yes that’s too bad”

  “Look! he keeps popping up to the top.” –says one

  “Maybe he can make it on his own” – chimes in someone else

  I know I am not getting wet, that’s for sure. – everyone agrees

  “I warned him!” –says another

  Sit on the dock.

  Wait for help to arrive.

  Have a picnic.

  Check the weather report.

  But, if you can’t help me.

  Please, don’t push me under.
• 

  Pams girl

  I wont push you under. Here........have a life preserver...float.
• 

  tornapart

  Larry, you could be witing for me too... read your other stuff. So similar it's spooky!

  Have you checked out Jwstruggle.com? It's an excellent website for fading Jws, Jws with doubts and questions. A lot of support.
• 

  Indian Larry

  @Pams Girl – That was kind of directed to my wife (who ironically will never read this). Yesterday I asked her if she would shun me if I came "out", she would not answer. This really really stinks because we have been married 25 years and it has been a good marriage. Seems like everything is falling apart.
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  scotoma

  You seem to be asserting that the Bible is the Truth. How can you be sure?
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  Pams girl

  @Indian Larry.........well she didnt say "I will shun you..."............maybe this is a good thing?

  Hope floats, dont ever give up. .

  Im sorry about your situation, this "organisation" has a lot to answer for, I hope you work through it, all the best.
• 

  Indian Larry

  re. Scotoma.

  I do believe that we were created. I have looked with (at least what I feel) is an open mind at evolution and I still feel there had to be intelligent design in the beginning. How do I KNOW the Bible is the truth? I guess I don't know to the point I could prove it in a court of law. I do know there are some contradictions in the Bible, some things in the Bible I don't believe 100%. For instance I do believe there was a flood, however I do have doubts that it was a world wide flood. I believe it was a localized flood, and I believe that can be shown in the scriptures. I think I had it figured one time the water would have had to fall at over 5' per hour.

  A site that covers some of the specifics of this and how you can still believe in the bible in the face of some of the valid questions science raises is called:

  godandscience dot org

  Either way I am NOT looking to start a Evolution vs. Creation battle. That battle has gone on for over 100 years and will go on 100 more. Each side will think the other does not understand. What came first the chicken or the egg? I feel it was the chicken. I do believe in evolution as far a changes within a species but I still think each basic species had a beginning. If you do not believe the bible is the truth, that is your choice and I respect that. I did go that way for awhile. It has been 10 years since I mentally dropped out and over 3 since I stopped attending meetings. For a while I did doubt everything even God and the Bible.

  It could be how I was raised, but to me I find more meaning in my life believing in creation. Is that faith or gullibility? I would like to think it is faith. If I am wrong, i am wrong. So what? That just means I led a life that had meaning to me, and when I die I will just be dead. To me that is better to have a hope for the future and a feeling of meaning in life than to simply feel like I am another link in an evolutionary chain. To me to live as, for instance Richard Dawkins would be an empty life.

  Anyhow. That's all on that. I have enough problems trying to get my family out of the BORG without bringing any other variables into the mix.

  Bottom line is I do feel that we were created. Am I right or wrong? I don't know, but I know it feels right to me.