It was "evidence" of holy spirit that got me

irondork

When I got disfellowshipped at age 19 for alcohol and sex with, uhm… several others, I deserved it. After that I took a nose dive into drugs and alcohol and the whole nightclub party scene in Wash. D.C.. It didn’t take long for my life to start falling apart.

EVEIDENCE that leaving Jehovah’s organization was the wrong thing to do.

Starting in my late twenties I realized the chemical addiction situation I was in and began attending AA meetings. In and out of the rooms for almost ten years provided me no more than sporadic sobriety, the longest stretch being 4 months. When I finally found myself in a truly desperate situation at age 35, I decided to give Jehovah a try again and I only knew to find him at the Kingdom Hall.

It really felt like the tide had turned for me. I quit drinking immediately and have maintained uninterrupted sobriety to this day, 10 years later. In time I was able to put down the cigarettes, get reinstated, even signed up for the Theocratic Ministry School and began giving talks again. The job situation improved because I was actually able to hang on to one for more than just a few months. Likewise an improved financial situation followed. I did it! ME! A dried up old drugged out street whore from Wash. D.C.. Fancy that.

EVIDENCE that returning to Jehovah’s organization was the right thing to do.

Evidence of God’s holy spirit being active in your life is a powerful thing. I’m not suggesting God did it for me because I worked my good-for-nothing butt off. But it wasn’t until I returned to the Jehovah’s Witnesses that my life improved. That’s why it was such a mind bender when I began to suspect that Jehovah’s holy spirit was, in fact, NOT present at the Kingdom Hall.

There were so many really good, sincere people there. Evidence that holy spirit drew them. But there were also some really, really bad ones too, some of them elders.

An ugly undercurrent in the organization was evident.

It took me some months, and some heart wrenching reading of Ray Franz's books to realize the evidence upon which I was relying so heavily was actually pointing to the fact that I had turned my attention away from GOD as a child, and then back to GOD as an adult - despite the presence of an organization.

Any religious organization will capitalize on a situation like mine, as I have heard many similar stories from the platforms of Kingdom Halls and assemblies, and use them as evidence to promote their own holiness, God-approvedness, spiritual superiority, proof that their governing body really is anointed by God.

Breaking away from that old body of evidence I had built up in my own mind, evidence reinforced by an opportunistic religious cult… that was a beneficial process for me.

Now, five years after my reinstatement and a year after my disassociation, I am still enjoying the blessings associated with keeping my attention on God, where it belongs.

EVIDENCE is EVIDENCE.

Phizzy

Thanks for your candid telling of your story irondork. Inspirational.

Evidence is evidence , true. Some evidence is false, all evidence needs evaluating and thinking about with an open mind and critical thinking skills, or we can easily draw the wrong conclusions, as you did at first in your return to the WT.

I am glad you are able to continue to keep an even keel, a self damaging life style is always difficult to conquer, so well done, keep it up, and always seek help, on here, or anywhere , when you need it.

the-illuminator81

When I was born I was a redhead. And I was accepted into the Redheaded Brotherhood.

When I reached the age of 19, I decided to dye my hair blond. I was then thrown out of the brotherhood.

Over the years, my hair returned to it's natural red colour. When my hair was red again, I was accepted into the Redheaded Brotherhood again.

Clearly this is evidence that the Redheaded Brotherhood is blessed by Jehovah. I mean, what other organization consists solely out of redheaded men? Clearly, Jehovah recognized my dyed hair and instructed the leaders of the RB to throw me out. And then when my hair was finally ready, he guided me back to the RB and his Holy Spirit moved the leaders of the RB to let me in again.

I also like to point out that the RB is the reddest organization in the world.

sir82

This is an important point.

On this forum, there are presented dozens of topics which demonstrate that the JWs are not "God's organization on earth". Scientific, archaeological, theological, philosophical, geologic, biologic...the lines of reasoning go on and on.

And we say "why don't the JWs see? It's all so bleedin' obvious!"

They don't see because, for a lot of them, being a JW worked, and is working. It got them off drugs and/or booze....it gave them a better family life...it gave them a purpose in life....it helped them see that it is possible to set goals and achieve them. For perhaps the first time ever, life "worked".

Such JWs consider that to be "evidence" of Jehovah's interest in them. And where did they find Jehovah? With the JWs of course.

Leaving the organization, to such persons, doesn't mean freedom. It means returning to that desperate, hopeless, unhappy life they left behind. That thought is emotionally devastating.

So, perhaps subconsciously, they still that little voice that says "something ain't right here".

They can't see because they don't want to see. Emotionally, on a very deep level, "leaving the JWs" is equivalent to "returning to my old life of drugs / booze / hopelessness". And that is horrifying.

pontoon

And AA has worked for lots of people. Doesn't prove anything except that their program works for some people, great you worked it out for you, irondok

Amelia Ashton

You make some very valid points sir82.

For a very brief amount of time working towards baptism and the belief a supernatural being cared about me and would be making the world a better place took my mind off other problems and the circumstances in which I was living. My depression lifted. At that time JWdom worked for me. I succeeded in giving up smoking and my life had a purpose other than earning enough to pay the bills and once they were paid earning enough to pay the next months.

Once that goal was achieved and the cracks began to show I know I put them to the back of my mind. I got very depressed again with feelings of worthlessness and thoughts that everyone else was better than me. When I discovered pioneers fudged their hours, elders didn't pay taxes and various other things I played the "imperfect men" card and fooled myself for a bit longer.

Once things became intolerable for me I realised it was not working for me but I still believed it was God's organisation and the problem was me. After missing the memorial of 2010 I believed it was God that had rejected me and not the other way round. Then I was able to look on this and other apostate sites and discover after not going to a meeting for a whole year and feeling dreadful guilt, that it was all a pack of lies.

It had stopped working for me.

sir82

Amelia,

Yes that is the key. When you reach the point where it "stops working", then you are ready to leave.

Many people never reach that point, though. Their "old life" was too devastating, and (I think) their mind goes into a sort of "self preservation mode" - it will do anything to avoid returning there.

That's why presenting calm, reasoned, logical arguments to such a JW many times results in a strongly emotional, maybe even hysterical, reaction. It's the mind fighting to avoid going back to that "dark place".

It all goes back to the old adage "you have to be ready to leave, to leave".

An alcoholic won't ever succeed in recovery until he acknowledges he has a real problem.

A JW won't ever leave until he is emotionally prepared to live life outside the JW fence.

harleybear

Irondork: Congrad on your sobriety. I too am recovering and AA is working for me but I will be the first to say it is not the end all be all. What I am enjoying as you are also is a realignment with God. To give yourself over to Gods will or Higher Power has nothing to do with buildings, duties, or an organization. It comes from the heart. When I was baptized in 1969 the 2nd question of the baptizum talk was not as it is now. In no way would I today submit to the 2nd question as it appears now regarding the organization. You have made a brave and spitual journey and you should be very proud of yourself. God is smiling with you in your sucess. Way to go Harleybear Ridin Free

irondork

sir82: Leaving the organization, to such persons, doesn't mean freedom. It means returning to that desperate, hopeless, unhappy life they left behind. That thought is emotionally devastating.

The WTS plays on these fears to cement its position of importance and authority in people's minds.

sir82: for a lot of them, being a JW worked, and is working. It got them off drugs and/or booze....it gave them a better family life...it gave them a purpose in life....it helped them see that it is possible to set goals and achieve them. For perhaps the first time ever, life "worked".

Like a parasite, the WTS lays claim to the nutrient of God's holy spirit for it's own personal gain.

It was "evidence" of holy spirit that got me

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