Some Things I Have Learned Up Till Now

by AllTimeJeff 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  AllTimeJeff

  (interspersed with opinions of course...)

  It will be 6 years since I left the sickness known as Jehovah's Witnesses. Whew! I made it this far.

  If anything I write below is helpful, that's great. If it isn't, believe me, I understand. But I feel strongly enough to let everyone know that these lessons work for me at least. Interpret them as you will. As Terry likes to say, 'your mileage may vary.'

  First, having a positive mental outlook is a good thing. Not the fantasy that JW's feed your head. But to understand that each day brings with it the possibility for good things happening to you as well as bad. We are conditioned to look for bad things now, and when you leave JW's, I think that is what most see.

  To see the good things and change to a positive person, and to get rid of the mental mucas that JW's put in your head, one must change ones thinking. You must expose yourself to different ideas. Read. Go to the self improvement part of a book store. Read about different religions and philosophies and ideas.

  Here's the cool things about reading books, you and I can read the same book on the same subject and get two totally different things out of it.

  You will not change your life until you change your thinking.

  You won't change your life until you get tired of being stuck where you are.

  You won't succeed in life without trying new things and failing at them. So learn to fail and do it the right way. Look up books on failure (John C Maxwell and Tavis Smiley have two great books on the subject). Failure is a positive as long as you learn from it and apply it to your future activities.

  SET GOALS! Do you want something? Do you want to be something? Does it burn your britches that you aren't THAT? That you aren't THERE? Then that is what you need to do, and no one will be able to stop you. It doesn't have to be right for anyone else, only yourself.

  See yourself as a success, and work each day to get where you want to go. You get to define success for yourself, but be careful. Don't make the mistake of selling yourself short. You can do great things, and as you hit your goals, your confidence will increase.

  READ! Clean up the mess JW's left in your head. :)
• 

  N.drew

  I would like to write a book so I might be invited to the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. I don't know what kind of mood I was in last night but I nearly fell off my chair watching it last night!
• 

  designs

  Set goals, plan success
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  Sulla

  Good advice, ATJ. I'd just add that part of the problems lots of JWs have is figuring out how far to prune. By that, I just mean that JW-ism is both profoundly harmful and, after enough time, so intrinsic to one's outlook that it is quite a challenge to know what (if anything) you can keep. Smoking, to pick an example, is not good simply because the JWs think it's bad.

  The other risk is that, cut free from the very restrictive modes of thought, we often wind up a little helpless. Since most JWs haven't developed their thinking, the first order of business is to develop effective reasoning. Since the education that we didn't focus on takes a very long time to get, we shouldn't expect that this is an easy process.
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  out4good3

  Speaking of John C. Maxwell, I just finished reading one of his book for a masters class I am taking. The book is entitled the 21 irrefutable Laws of Leadership.

  Now if only I can get motivated to write this paper due at the end of the month.....
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  flipper

  AWESOME advice Jeff ! Much of what you say I try to implement in my life as well personally. I've been out of the cancer ( JW cult ) for over 8 years now and life is great and I have much happiness ! Good thread
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  AwareBeing

  Three cheers for AllTimeJeff! He's right! For three years I've been practicing what he writes about on this thread, and I know from experience that this advice is helpful. Like Jeff wrote, there are failures but we can improve on these. Also, that books or any format for educating yourself will lead to a more fulfilling life. You'll be able to follow your conscience, and do what you know is right. Your family will view you as a whole person, with greater abilities to assist them; and your coworkers will senses a calm control in you that their more comfortable with! You'll accomplish small things at first, and later have the strength to make major changes. Breaking this barrier opens to possibilities that have long term effects you'd other wise not have benefited from! But be advised; others in your life will be taken along for the ride, one of which they are not accustomed too and will express a mixed rang of emotions. They will be in shock, question why! It's like when you became a witness, all these changes that they don't understand. It's a new you, and their confused; their afraid of what's happening to you! This time as before, you'll reason with them; only it will be you and your Saviour's decision. No WT dedication, your talents are from GOD and your going to start using them for the good! Door to door preaching for the GB only does more of the same, more dubs being dedicated to WT's GB! They have books and information that turns folks into drones for them, but nothing to help make you a better you for GOD and family!
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  thetrueone

  Good advise Jeff

  There is unfortunately too little in the way of guidance and encouragement for people wanting to leave this particular religion.

  Something some us long time OUT people regrettably forget about.

  There much said about whats wrong with religion in how it operates and effects people but there's really little

  talk or discussion for people trying to escape the mental entanglements that this region imposes onto people and what they should do.

  Unfortunately for some they fail to find a healthy and wholesome direction for themselves upon leaving and they find themselves

  right back at the Kingdom Hall.

  There is a great need for people who are trying to escape religious cults like the JWS as a self help resource they can refer to.

  This web site helps a little to be realized but I'm sure there's more that people need, particularly on a social personal level .