Um ridiculous is as ridiculous does. How will we know if criticism falls flat?

by N.drew 7 Replies latest jw friends

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  N.drew

  Criticism is fine, but doesn't it have to be specific to work?

  If criticism is not to help but to hurt, isn't that called trolling?

  I understand that the posters here are on opposite ends of life's spectrum.

  So some posts will sound critical but they are not. They are truly the poster's opinion

  and forum is built for differences of opinion.

  Whenever a poster posts a blanket insult and won't get specific or give reason isn't that falling flat?

  For instance wouldn't it be helpful if a poster with criticism wrote this post HERE I believe goes beyond the conversation and here's why I think so. But that's not how it's done on JWN forum. Critical posts have the criticized wondering "What?" What are they criticizing? It would give the one who is being attacked the possibility to defend the post. But it's not possible to do with how JWN proceeds usually.

  Another thing. People seem to be quick to judge. When I have had feelings of contention about a post I usually read it again and again to make sure what it says, then I post. And sometimes I'm wrong but at least I feel like I was not being presumptuous.

  So please first make sure you are as right about the other person's post as you can be. Then please even ASK instead of shooting first. And most importantly say what you are criticising so the criticized might learn something.

  Thank you.
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  NomadSoul

  Thanks for the suggestions.

  
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  N.drew

  I wonder, is that mean or is it funny ?
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  caliber

  Try the PNP sandwich (positive negative positive): I don’t like this idea much, but I think it can be a good one (see what I did there?) for dealing with people sensitive or new to receiving criticism. The idea is simple: find a way to alternate your feedback. Find something positive, then find something negative, then find another positive thing. It’s an easy way to develop trust and help people become comfortable with hearing other people’s opinion

  http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/35-how-to-give-and-receive-criticism/
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  caliber

  I wonder, is that mean or is it funny ?..... cynical humor... but is doesn't make for too many laughs to the end receiver
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  N.drew

  http://www.scottberkun.com/essays/35-how-to-give-and-receive-criticism/

  Thank you I understand. I will read it.

  That looks like an open face sandwich. LOL "I don't like that idea much, but I think it can be a good one".

  I love all bad ideas because they fertilize ideas in my head. I should start my contentious posts with that, but I fear it won't do much good.

  See how the truth that I know sounds insulting? It's a blessing (for me) because it's funny but it is a curse because I am very lonely.
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  bigmouth

  If criticism is not to help but to hurt, isn't that called trolling?

  Not necessarily. All of us, no matter how well intentioned in daily life, are prone to make criticism of people and ideas that we have no personal contact with. We generally are more careful and empathetic when being critical face to face. But, this here's the 'anonymous' internet and those of us who are more sensitive to conflict can find it harsher than usual.

  and forum is built for differences of opinion.

  Well it's a lot more than that. A meeting of minds, venting and a place of common interest. It's a microcosm of your world but with much sharper edges.

  And most importantly say what you are criticising so the criticized might learn something.

  That would seem self evident but.............people............ I guess on a forum like this most of us just bang down our immediate thoughts and don't ruminate too much on how it might be taken.

  I've offended people in the past and have been horrified to find out that I had done so. I take more care these days to word things better.
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  wha happened?

  ok, what comment got u all unraveled?