Love or Faith?

by jbeau504 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • jbeau504
    jbeau504

    See, there was a young girl who I met at the post-funeral house party my family held after my aunt passed. She was already a regular pioneer. An elder's daughter, third-gen-JW, but far more dedicated than I ever was. I rarely talked to anyone at the KH, seeing as how 100% of the friendships I had before getting serious about the JWs were non-JWs. Meetings were odd. I ran into either awkward, anti-social personalities, or very snobby personalities who felt special because they were pioneers, well-read watchtower-heads, and ofcourse the sons & daughters of respected elders or other 'renowned' brothers. But I didnt care.

    That pretty young girl, like everyone else, was always just 'another person to say hi to' whenever I went to the hall. I mostly talked to older folks, & only a few young 'peers'. But after a while, I began to slowly get attracted to this girl. She seemed....sexy to me. She isn't the supermodel type, but she has this pretty-mary-jane-girl-next-door thing goin' on. Right now I struggle with what I feel because it's too much of a stupid distraction. I feel weird even mentioning it..

    But i'm kind of in love with her. Idk what it is. So i've begun to talk to her, off and on, as an 'aquaintance'. I haven't gotten serious and really spent time with her out in service so i don't know her as well as i could. Prayer always seemed like a bigger motivation to me than a girl, but sometimes she can just put a smile on my face. I'm scared if i 'do something' i'll get in trouble being an unbaptized publisher, her being baptized and her dad being an elder & all.

  • TOTH
    TOTH

    Know your place is what I learned at the hall. If anyone below the rank of elder approached an elder's daughter they were not KEEPING their place. It seems that there is a caste system of sorts in jwdom. Elders with daughters only get elders. Pioneers get with other pioneers and publishers better keep their place.

    I don't know how old you are but you seem young to my 50 years. I would proceed with caution and see how things go. Just beware of the place minders around you.

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Be careful. Hormones are at play at your age.

    You don't believe all of the doctrines of this church. That is not allowed. You will never be a JW in good standing unless you can suppress those doubts and hide them from any JW who might put your pot on.

    If there are good reasons for your doubts, it's likely that sooner or later you will want out. After all, only about 1/3 of raised-ins still call themselves JW as adults. If that happens and you haven't married and had children with a SuperDub, that means you miss out on going through some really nasty shit.

  • Razziel
    Razziel

    If you really want her, you can probably really have a relationship with her if you do the right things. But you'll do the right things for the wrong reasons and it's virtually certain to bring you nothing but heartache in the long run. You need to get out and see there are more fish in the sea fast!!!! On the double!!! Pronto!!! You're 22. Best years of your young adulthood. Go meet new people! Now!

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    You probably already know that in JW land there are no close plutonic male female relationships, so in her mind the only way you can be involved is to have the goal of marriage.

    I know it's difficult to think of letting go of her or the idea, relationship, infatuation or whatever it is you have, but ask yourself:

    Am I ready for marriage?

    Do I think I can have a happy marriage with someone who doesn't share my beliefs, especially knowing her stand on unbelievers?

    Can I keep up the veneer of belief, or can I live with letting her down with my doubts?

    Is she something I can afford emotionally, spiritually and mentally or will the relationship come with too much debt/baggage because of "our" religion?

    Remember that she considers marriage a three-fold cord with Jehovah; do you think you can live with that?

  • jbeau504
    jbeau504

    @Disillusioned Lost-Lamb I'm not really a fanatic by any means, or the most uptight person but i'm not exactly opposed to marrying young. I mean young or old, it's the heart that matters right? I'm in my 20's, it's not like i'm some rebellious teenager. I get what you're saying though, but at the same time marriage wouldn't scare me, JW or non-JW.

    I don't want to hurt her or freak out her elder father (and i don't want my family to feel embarrassed if something were to go wrong), but then again I might not 'break'. I mean, I talked to this one brother I went out in service with. He's very quiet, i dunno why but anyway he mentioned going through different 'trials' in his youth, and that once you spend enough time in the organization, no matter what doubts you have, they'll go away, you'll 'program' yourself into believing the truth, and you'll 'make the truth your own' so to speak. I think I know what he meant.

    I know about the failed predictions of the watchtower society in the past, but I mean, there's good family people here, it can't all be bad, right? Maybe i'll learn to love it over time?

    I can't stop thinking about her...

  • Disillusioned Lost-Lamb
    Disillusioned Lost-Lamb

    Getting married young is not a bad thing, when it's the right thing; I was just trying to get you thinking.

    Please take some time and don't let your infatuation entangle you.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Really. You are mentally free of the "Lie", yet thinking about starting up a romance with a pioneer?

    THINK about what you're doing!

    DANGER, WILL ROBINSON!!! DANGER!!!

    tal

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