My JW family - hypocrites or confused?

by Faithful Witness 6 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Faithful Witness

  I haven't posted here in awhile, and have really been focusing more on my own life. I haven't been keeping up with JW updates or issues, as it was really getting exhausting, and taking too much of my attention away from my priorities.

  (I was never a JW.)
  

  Short version: My sister and her husband are very dedicated to the organization. She decided to stop communicating with me, because of "the way it affects her."
  

  My dad seems to be dedicated, extremely brainwashed and like he has become a robot for the Watchtower. "They're smarter than me!"

  My mom is confused, but going along with almost all of it. She has also made bizarre statements of faith in the governing body. "Yes, I do believe they speak for God."

  Recently, I learned (from my JW mother) that my sister is working at the casino. She works in the restaurant, so apparently she and her husband have decided that this is ok with Jehovah... but "Don't tell Dad! He doesn't know."

  During a recent telephone conversation with my mom, the JW's came and rang her doorbell. SHE RAN AND HID! She was saying, "I know they saw me..." Apparently, she was too ashamed to answer the door, because she had messy hair and was wearing her pajama pants. (SO many things I wanted to say, about her reaction to unannounced visitors on a sunny Tuesday afternoon... but I just laughed along with her, reminding her of the times we all hid from the Avon Lady!) She has admitted that there isn't really anyone at the Kingdom Hall that she can talk to... how strange! I thought you were a worldwide brotherhood, friends greeting you, everywhere you go.
  

  My mom also sends weird cards and letters to my kids, and will send cash or gifts, months after their birthdays pass... along with a mention of, "I know you're a year older now..."

  It's actually very sad at times. They don't seem to have anything solid to hang onto, and they remain confused about what they believe. My dad relies on Watchtower publications, to answer everything for him. My mom was telling me a story about how he was acting, and I had to remind her that he's 69 years old... you can't have a new personality at his age, and not get confused sometimes. (He doesn't know WHO knows WHAT about his being a JW, so he flounders around sometimes).

  I'm not trying to be spiteful or mean. It makes me sad to see my parents choosing to spend their time and resources on this useless organization. It hurts to see them putting Watchtower interests above their own grandchildren. I wanted to scream, yesterday, when my dad started to tell me how gullible my other sister was (not JW). But I won't fight them about it, unless they start trying to work their Witch Tower magic on my kids.
  

  To give credit to my mom: She skipped field service yesterday, and watched my kids for me. When we got to the house, there was a note on the fridge, left by my (recently baptized) 12-year old niece. It was spelled out in magnetic letters, to my kids, telling them to have fun. I thought that was a very nice gesture.

  They are spending more hours than ever, in field service and "kingdom" work. Boo!

  I will be grateful for the time we get with them, and resist the urge to bring out their "new" personalities. SO many things are just left unsaid (again)...
  
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  kaik

  My mom feels that she was deceived by the organization and she cling into the publications that were valid 40 years ago. She does not recognize the WT as the one she entered in 70's when big A was about to happen. I know she is confused, she wants to believe that she serves God, but she feels that the WT and her KH is not the right place for it anymore. She was told that generation of 1914 will see the end, while watching everyone of them to die. She is 80, and leaving WT would end her social life, plus my sibling, in-laws, and cousins and extensive family would shun her.
  

  My sibling is confused as well, goes back and forth with extreme views on anything WT say is true and everyone else is wrong including my mom. My mom has to hide all the old WT she had accumulated and some of them are back from the late 1960's. She had them bounded and she likes to read them through, but my sibling insist that it is apostate material and should be discarded. I told my mom to turn the material to local university library for research, so I hope she does. My sibling has period of extreme activity in WT and than she will suddenly withdrew and than return year later. We had not talked too much after my walkout in 1994 and we grew apart for next 15 years. My nieces and nephews do not know me as I was never mentioned. Lately I am back in the picture after series of personal crises my sibling had until I was the only one who could financially backed them from failed marriage. So the communication is better, but the 15 years been lost and I cannot ever get them back.

  Sometimes I think back to my childhood back in the early 70's when my JW aunt started to study with my parents and introduced them into the cult. I wonder how my life would be different if my parents had refused to study with my aunt that summer. This cult just destroyed the family. My grandparents were together for 66 years and other 55. My parents always wanted to have long marriage like this but it failed apart after my father refused to get baptized (he said he see BS through it) and left us without ever divorcing to live with his mom where he died under her care.
  
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  Crazyguy

  Maybe it time to introduce seeds that the bible itself is crap. Showing her that there are many contradiction's and several prophecies that did not come true. Maybe this is the better way of destroying the cult, they seam to have excuse after excuse when you show them the problems and the lies of the ORG.
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  The Searcher

  @ FAITHFUL WITNESS - I don't mean to either embarrass or flatter you, but the concise description of your Witness family members is the most accurate summary of modern-day Witnesses' mentality I've seen. Thank you.

  It is honest, unspiteful, and yet is heartfelt and tinged with obvious sadness!

  It describes completely how so many long - serving Witnesses are feeling right now, and my heart goes out to them.

  They're still "walking on the road to life", while the Org's chariot has overtaken them at great speed and has left them in a cloud of dust in its slipstream!
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  Vidiot

  Faithful Witness - "My JW family - hypocrites or confused?"

  The two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, you know.
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  millie210

  Soiunds like the average JW family to me. Everyone just trying to make sense of it and get along as best they can.

  (and yes, that is sad)
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  Faithful Witness

  Thanks for understanding. Anytime I try to discuss JW issues with anyone, I end up feeling like a raving lunatic. They just seem to be all over the place, and so inconsistent.

  When I DO actually go and read a current study article, and then talk to my mom, it doesn't seem like she's following their instructions (suggestions?) very well. I'm not going to correct her ways, since I am a "non-believing relative."

  I have heard her utter the word, "apostate" under her breath at me, but I think it was almost an unconscious outburst. I ignored it. She has accused me of "attacking the Watchtower" before (about a year ago), but now she really seems to be reaching out and trying to spend more time with my kids. I'm glad for that.

  It seems like we are happily co-existing right now, ignoring the huge elephant in the room. I hope it will last awhile. When my dad starts introducing "Jehovah" into conversation, I don't take the bait.

  Maybe we are actually seeing a glimmer of peace in the family, after 3 years.