North Dakota ID

by Grunt 3 Replies latest social humour

  • Grunt
    Grunt

    Subject: FW: YOU MIGHT BE A NORTH DAKOTAN IF... (fwd) (fwd)

    > Subject: FW: YOU MIGHT BE A NORTH DAKOTAN IF... (fwd) (fwd)
    YOU MIGHT BE A NORTH DAKOTAN IF...
    1. You know that everyone has a "city
    preference"- Fargo or Grand Forks.
    2. You have gotten frostbitten and sunburned
    during the same week.
    3. You always miss the Combine Show at the State Fair...
    4. ...but you still make it for those mini-donuts
    and cheese curds!
    5. You've gotten fresh eggs and milk from a farm.
    6. You measure distance in minutes.
    7. Weather is 80% of your conversation.
    8. Down south to you means South Dakota.
    9. You call freeways "highways".
    10. Snow tires come standard on all your vehicles.
    11. You know why there would be an electrical plug
    hanging out of a car hood.
    12. You think public transportation is "Ole's truck bed".
    13. 75% of your graduating high school class went to
    North Dakota State University.
    14. You've been to Fort Mandan on a field trip at
    some point in your school days.
    15. You know the real state bird is the mosquito.
    16. You know more than 1 person that has hit a deer.
    17. You always said that you were going to leave when
    you grew up.
    18. People from other states love to hear you say
    words with "o"s in them.
    19. You have seen someone light a fart.
    20. You went to Canada on your 18th birthday.
    21. Your car was the only hangout option in high school.
    22. You have no problem spelling "Minneapolis".
    23. You own at least one item that says "I'd rather
    be fishing".
    24. You used to think Deer Season was an official
    school holiday.
    25. You know which calibre rifle works best in
    any given situation that would require a rifle.
    26. You get mad at people who think Fargo is in
    Minnesota.
    27. You feel the need to correct everyone's
    misperception that there are Indians roaming the
    plains.
    28. You know that small towns are "rumor mills",
    and must tell everyone you see.
    29. You may hate George Sinner for a lot of
    things, but you will always love him for canceling
    school.
    30. Not only do you have snow days, your school
    is canceled because of the cold (-100 F wind chill).
    31. You call Bismarck and Mandan the "Cities".
    32. You can name the 4 seasons: fall, winter,
    spring, and road repair.
    33. You know the difference between temperature and
    wind chill.
    34. You take all your vacations "by the water".
    35. You can drive faster on gravel roads than on
    pavement.
    36. You make fun of Canadians.
    37. At least one member of your family has cut
    your hair.
    38. You have almost always had a "white Christmas".
    39. You hate all Minnesota professional sports
    teams, because they have professional sports teams.
    40. You've gone camping for your birthday.
    41. Nothing gets you madder than seeing an
    out-of-state license plate, because you know
    they're just passing through.
    42. You think that Lutherans and Catholics are
    the two major religions of the world.
    43. You know what "uff-da" means and how to use
    it in the proper context.
    44. You remember playing Kickball in elementary
    school and miss it.
    45. You're a loyal K-mart shopper.
    46. You still think "Gay 90's" is just an expression.
    47. You've licked frozen metal ... in the past year!
    48. You spend at least a paycheck on fireworks
    every 4th of July.
    49. You own an ice house, a snowmobile, and a 4
    wheel drive vehicle.
    50. You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees outside
    in March, but bundle up and complain in August when
    it goes below 60.
    51. You know people that have more fishing poles
    than teeth.
    52. You remember every high school sporting
    event that you ever participated in.
    53. You used to think the State Capital was a
    "very tall building".
    54. When you talk about "opener" you are not
    talking about cans (see #24).
    55. You've gone fishing in the Kiddie Pond ... recently!
    56. You remember going Trick-or-Treating in 3
    feet of snow.
    57. You think all blacks work at an Air Force Base.
    58. You know what cabin fever is (December,
    January, February, and March!)

    59. You love SPAM and can name what it stands
    for (spiced ham).
    60. You carry jumper cables in your car.
    61. You can give directions to Teddy Roosevelt's
    house.
    62. You have at least one tee shirt and one
    poster with Virgil Hill.
    63. All of your friends are at least "a part Norwegian".
    64. You know people who actually say "yah sure"
    and "you betcha".
    5. You are excited the first time it snows, and
    then slap yourself because you know by April you'll
    be insanely sick of it.
    66. Everyone you know has a cabin.
    67. You get sick of people asking you "is it
    cold up there?"
    68. You never appreciate "North Dakota is Nice"
    until you move away from it.
    69. You didn't know if the locks on your car
    worked until you locked yourself out.
    70. You knew what MIP and DUI was before you
    reached high school.
    71. You had a MIP or DUI before you reached high school.
    72. At least two of your neighbors have keys to
    your house.
    73. You learned to drive "on the farm".
    74. You compare the Medora Musical to Broadway...
    75. You drink POP and are proud of it.
    76. You have a favorite AM station.
    77. You give directions by landmarks only.
    78. You know what lefsa is.
    79. You think you can get a job anywhere
    because you have that Midwestern work ethic.
    80. Holidays at your house always include a big
    glass of Mogan David wine.
    81. Your friends that come to visit from REAL
    urban areas always remark on how blasted many people
    you know.

  • larc
    larc

    Well that was quite a story,

    I can only comment on some of them as they relate to the fair state of Michigan.

    #24 Deer Season: GM knows that the guys will be gone when deer season hits. Lotta guys get lucky that stay home that time of year.

    #25 Rifles: Yeh, they are a big thing in Michigan. They will try to use them to lower the crime rate if they get the chance.

    #32 Road Repairs: In Flint Michigan they don't even bother with road repairs, they patch it and wait for better times.

    #34 Gravel Roads: They have them right outside of town and are proud of it.

    #36 Canadians: We don't make fun of them, because they moved into the state. They promise to go home, but they won't.

    37. Haircuts: That happens in all the states, so your not alone on that one.

    45. K Mart: The first three words I spoke were "Attention KMart Shoppers"

    49. Ice Fishing: Another big deal in Michigan. Just about every year they fish some guys out of Saginaw Bay, who went out on the ice and then the ice came loose and they were drifting out into no where land.

    60. Jumper Cables: Everbody up north has em. I remember one time I went into this bar and got into a conversation with this bad ass. The bar maid cautioned me, but we got along fine. He went out and his car wouldn't start. I had jumper cables and we were friends ever after.

    63. Norwegians: A lot of Norwegians live in the UP, that's the Upper Peninula of Michigan. Got a good friend whose half Norwegian and half Italian. By the way, do you have Pasties where you live, a wonderful Norwegian concoction.

    66. Cabins: Most people in the Lower Peninsula of Michigan have a cabin. As soon as the wistle blows at the GM factory on Friday, they are on the road. Going North on a holiday or at the start of deer season is a major traffic jam.

    Nice to share the regional news.

    Got a joke for you.

    There was this young guy from the UP who moved to Flint Michigan. He got a job at a small grocery store. One day, he was in the produce section and a customer asked if he could buy a half a head of lettuce, because being single and all he could never use up a whole head of lettuce, cause it would go bad on him. The new, young employee said he would have to ask the the store owner who was back by the meat counter, so he went back to ask him. He said, There's some jerk up front who wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." Well, the cutomer had followed him back there and was right behind him. The young guy turned and saw him and said, "And this fine gentleman wants to buy the other half." After the customer left the owner complemented the young man for being so quick on his feet. He said to him "you have real promise for this business. I know you're not from Flint, where are from." He said, "I"m from the UP." And the store owner asked him "Why did you leave the UP and move to Flint?" and the young man answered, "They only thing they have in the UP are whores and hockey players." The store owner rather angrily replyed, "my wife is from the UP", and the young man asked "Oh, what team did she play on?"

    Pretty quick on his feet for a Upper, as they are called.

  • waiting
    waiting

    hey grunt,

    43. You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it in the proper context.

    78. You know what lefsa is.

    Well?????????

    Aren't you going to tell the rest of us what'sitmeans?

    hey larc

    Thanks for the joke - y'all helped my Weds. I usually print them out for the guys who work for me. One is a young jw and thinks all jw web sites are horrible apostates (except the official and on-line one). But he loves our jokes.....

    waiting

  • larc
    larc

    Waiting,

    I think that the official Watchtower site is the only apostate site on the list. I remember one time my sister told my I was too proud and that I should humble myself. I told her that I thought that the Watchtower Society was too proud and it should humble itself. That was a real conversation stopper.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit