What Percentage Of Family/Friends Do You Miss?

by Bubblegum Apotheosis 7 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Bubblegum Apotheosis
    Bubblegum Apotheosis

    I have not experienced "Shunning" yet, I have observed Jehovah's Witnesses shunning members who are not disfellowshiped, I think this has to do with selfishness inheritant in this religion. Christianity is a religion of giving, Jesus wanted his members to share their goods with people who could not return the favor. He promised his Father in Heaven would repay generous hearts who looked out for father-less boys and widows.

    Fine and dandy, but in the real world, quid-pro-qou matters, returning meal for meal, gift for gift and party for party does maintain your social status in the congregation. There is deep bitterness that arises when people feel neglected, "I invited you over for dinner twice, and you have never had me once!"

    How close were you to your family that are shunning you because of your decession to stand back, you got disfellowshiped, left the organization on your terms or faded?

    Honestly evaluating the time spent, how real was your relationship with these people? You know how quick their view of you can change, do you even care if you ever see these people again? Do some family and friends cheat, and talk to you? I find the most evil ones enjoy the shunning the most, I could see them walk past the beaten up Jew, who the disfellowshiped Samaritian took under his care and tent!

  • oompa
    oompa

    100% for me of family and friends i miss...i just dont miss the assholes or lies though. i had EXTREMELY great friends and family...i loved my fellow party animals!!!!!!!!! i miss them very very much and am now totally shunned 100% as in they will not answer the phone...door...nor return any emails...my third gengeration dad is a GREAT jw you see!!!...and yes it has cost me a great wife too on so many levels. thankfully this fourth gen decided to do serious independent studies (after 45 years...damm i was slow) and walk away despite the costs...that is called being true to yourself...and there will be no fifth gen in this family nor sixth as both my sons are out now too!!!! its over WT you lose!!!!

    knowldge is power and nobody should ever be afraid of it...how can anybody make good and accurate decisions on anything if they are denied important knowlege that would have a powerful bearing on their desicion???..................oompa

    so prepare to get shunned bublegum and get busy making new friends and a new REAL life in the REAL world...we lived in a bubble

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    0%

    sure, i thought i had some real friends but my shunning for two years without cause pretty much showed me the reality. These days i wouldnt have anything to say beyond ''nice suit'' to them if i couldn't talk anti jw.

    oz

  • Freeof1914
    Freeof1914

    Wow oompa exactly what I needed to hear. I am the point of losing my wife whom I consider my best friend and my parents and two brothers who are die-hard witnesses because of the decisions I have made. I woke up this morning extremely sad knowing that in a few short months I will be totally alone in this world without family, and although I have prepared myself logistically I have a few good "wordly" friends and will be a teacher in September, I do not think that anything can prepare for the pain I will have to endure in order to be true to myself. I woke up this morning and contemplated the idea of returning to the meeting but cannot be a hypocrite and return knowing what I know and despising that religion and specifically the GB. My wife who I consider my best friend essentially told me to just tell her when I would be leaving, it saddens me to think that all of this will happen simply because I choose not to believe what they think is the truth. I hope that when I walk away from it all that at least my nephews will wonder why I did it and begin to question the organization in due time. In all honesty I am extremely afraid of being without my family because we have always been extremely tight knit and I love them dearly but I just cannot spend anymore time living a lie. Thank you for your post it was very uplifting.

  • panhandlegirl
    panhandlegirl

    Bubblegum, I miss 94% of family. Only three brothes and two male cousins still speak to me. I slept between/or in the same bed with my two older sisters until I was 15. We were very close. Now if they see me, they turn their heads or insult me. I have a large family and all are jws on my mother's and husband's side. It is sad and difficult to be shunned but I have made a new life for myself. Thank goodness I took my children out of the wts when they were young so I do have them.

    Freeof1914, Yes, get ready for some pain if you get df/d. Don't despair, there is life after the organization.

  • blindnomore
    blindnomore

    It may sound harsh but the truth is that none of them(including your own family)are your friends in the first place.

    They are, as well as you were, simply 'the cult members' before being friend, husband, wife, parents, son, daughter, uncle, grandparent,......

    It doesn't matter why one get df'ed or not being one of them any more, the cult members will react the way how they were programed.

    There's nothing exiting one from the cult can do about the system. It's truly ashame but it's what it is.

    Fortunately, there are real people with normal human heart and mentality exist outside of the cult wall.

    It's time to make real friend, not fake or conditional ones, who will love you and be there for you for being who you are not what you are.

    I am sorry Bubblgum, 1914, and others who are facing this painful reality. You are about to find out the contract was conditional and you don't need fake ones. Let them be who they really are. Hope they will awake someday as we have.

    Bottom line, I am grateful that I don't have to deal and wast remaining life with fake ones anymore.

    I miss 0% of fake ones.

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    about 10% of my JW friends were actually friends. I miss them. One or two still chat with me on occasion. The 90% can kiss my ass

  • mythreesons
    mythreesons

    I miss my parents, brother, nieces, cousins, grandmothers, aunts, uncles....I miss 100% percent of the ones still controlled by a cult. But, I'm moving on with my life. I have a great wife and wonderful kids...I have new friends who are there no matter what. I have new people who are now adoptive parents, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles.

    Do I miss them? Yes, but do I miss the drama? Heck no! They like to think the are 'teaching me a lesson'. Well, I'm just a bit stubborn and the lesson is theirs to learn...you live controlled by a cult, you let other people decide what you should do? You lose. You have one life to live, you best not waste it doing the bidding of some strangers living in NYC who don't know you or care one bit about your future.

    oops...just a bit of a rant there ;)

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