How do I explain to my parents how upset I am about their child abuse policy

by not bitter 6 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

• 

  not bitter

  This whole case is really bothering me. As it should anyone. But I think what is upsetting me most is the fact that my dad is an elder and to think of him actually going along with this policy on child abuse and protecting an abuser just sickens me.

  I have a 5 year old daughter whom my parents help look after and really adore her. So I'm thinking of going over there and saying to them -

  What would you say if I told you that S was being sexually abused? I imagine they would be immediately shocked and upset and I'm guessing they will ask when, who and have I reported it to the police.

  I was then going to tell them she is safe and nothing has happened but that I'm glad they have responded that way so can they please explain to me how they as loving parents and grandparents support the WTS policy. Then I'd hand over the policy they have on the JW media site and go through it with them. I thought this way would be safer because I can tell them that I've only heard about all this recently with the Candace Conti case which is all over the news and so I looked up on the JW official website to check their policy for myself only to find that the court ruling was correct.

  They can't argue with that.

  My brother suggested that after asking them what they would do if I told them S was being abused and they respond with reporting to the police, that I should say that I've not done that yet but instead I've got S and the accused in a room and questioned them both about what happened. That he has denied it and because there were no other witnesses to the alleged abuse, I've had to leave it but I've promised to keep an eye on him. Also that I've phoned my solicitor to get her advice on the matter.

  Any suggestions?
• 

  laverite

  Not bitter, Suggestions? No way. You have it covered. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant in every way.
• 

  sir82

  "Suppose a new publisher moves into the congregation. In his letter of introduction it reveals that he has been publicly reproved for numerous instances of child molestation but he has been deemed repentant each time.

  Would you let other parents know about his history? Or would you follow policy and keep such information confidential?

  What if he wanted to go in field service in the same car group as your granddaughter?

  What if he shows up for a meeting for service, where there are a bunch of kids, and there are no elders to lead the group? What would keep him away from the kids?

  What if someone found out he was a child molester by looking online, and decided to warn other parents? What would you do that person?"
• 

  not bitter

  My problem is that I don't want to let on that I go looking at apostate websites or that I have knowledge of the flock book because that will just get their backs up and they will shut down mentally. So I can only use the recent news articles and the JW official website. They know I dont have any JW literature. I want my dad to know that if I ever found out that he has or ever does get involved in a child abuse case that I would expect him to ignore the society policy and do the human and right thing and go to the police and warn the congregation even at the risk of getting in trouble himself. I want him to know that anything else in unforgivable. I don't for a minute think my mum knows anything about their policy. I hope she will be shocked. Especially if I use her grand daughter as an example
• 

  Black Sheep

  They have to do the explaining ...... not you

  You also have the court documents to work with, so download them.

  The discussion doesn't have to be over in a day. Let him speculate, then go home and look up the court documents to find the bit that deals with his speculation, print it out and give it to him. When he has finished explaining himself, or is lost, move on to the next question.

  You don't have to get an actual admission of defeat on every subject. You just have to make them think.

  Try to not make statements that you have to prove unless the documentation is in their home, their WTCD, etc.. Just ask questions and make them provide documentation whenever they make statements that you know are contradicted by literature in their home, WTDC, dictionary, etc.
• 

  outsmartthesystem

  Their abuse policy is on the jw.org website?
• 

  not bitter

  The policy is on the JW-media.org site but unfortunately since yesterday eve (UK time) its been down.