Ah, the WatchTower...(rant)

by xyzzy 5 Replies latest jw experiences

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  xyzzy

  Please forgive me if this post doesn't seem logical to you. I'm just letting myself go.

  My mom was baptised into the WTC when I was two years old. I grew up in the Witnesses. I remember that I couldn't listen to any good music or hang out with other kids my age. I hated that. I remember walking around with my head hanging down, afraid to associate with anyone that I might lose my salvation. I remember doing the door to door work. Because of the Witnesses, I had no chance to develop friendships with others. I have no friends today because I don't know how to make them.

  I'm out. Mom and I both left, doing the "quiet fade" thing. It works. Now I drink what I like (107 proof Booker's Brand), smoke whatever I want, and listen to whatever music I want. I am now free. But the effect of the WatchTower is still there. I feel lonely and alienated.

  If you have gone through something similar, email me at [email protected] as I'd love to hear from you.

  "Comrades! We must abolish the cult of the individual decisively, once and for all!"
  ~Nikita Khrushchev, premier of the Soviet Union, echoed in the teachings of the WatchTower
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  xyzzy

  Oooh, I meant WTS when I wrote WTC. WatchTower Society.

  "Comrades! We must abolish the cult of the individual decisively, once and for all!"
  ~Nikita Khrushchev, premier of the Soviet Union, echoed in the teachings of the WatchTower
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  Kep

  Hi ya Jim,
  Welcome to the board.
  Well I grew up a dub and had similar difficulties, but I did have mates at school and within the cong.
  The bonds of friendship were not strong one, but we all got along alright.
  As I got older I had a select number of friends, but only 1 really close mate, closer than a brother he was.
  Yep, had all the chains as well, can't do this or that.
  There is a wealth of experience here and I hope you are able to gain some helpful suggestions.
  Kep
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  jaysong

  Xyzzy,

  Boy do I know how you feel. As do most people here. I've been out for 15 years (am 39 now), and I STILL go through periods where I feel isolated and lonely---but I know it's just that ol' dub isolation, that superimposed "staying away from the world" crap they put on us as teenagers.

  Do you have anyone outside that understands what you've gone through? If not, try therapy, try finding a support group for former cult members, try the university, try a book group,.. It's not as easy as when you were a dub because the world is diverse and we don't all speak that ridiculous drone hey call "unity" which is actually just conditional acceptance...but there are thousands of very cool, very understanding, very friendly people out here just waiting. It just takes some effort on your part.

  Whatever you do, GET BUSY. Don't let the dub brain-programming use isolation to get you to think that somehow god is punishing you for what you've done....NOTHING COULD BE FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH...on the contrary, "the world is your oyster" now, so go get it!

  Jay
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  ShyGurlie

  um................Well I think that you didnt actually make the truth your own. You were young, and probally didnt understand moct of what u were doing. I am a JW and im 15 going on 16 and I have many friends in the truth! we all hang out and we all have real CLOSE relationships. I think its a bunch of stuff when u say---

  "I remember walking around with my head hanging down, afraid to associate with anyone that I might lose my salvation."

  Come on......... i talk to lot's of people in school, i actually grew up with peopl outside of the truth and i still talk to them. You just didnt know the truth inside and out adn so u THOUGHt u would lose salvation if you talked to others. Well im just putting in my 2 cents. But now i guess you are MUCH happier......ya know now that ur a drunk and all.
  "Now I drink what I like (107 proof Booker's Brand), smoke whatever I want,"
  its cool huh? [8>]
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  aprostate

  Hi Jim,
  Yes, Having grown up a Witness I know exactly how you feel. I lived in fear all of the time. The Witnesses regulated every facet of our lives even our thoughts and when you first leave, if that is all you have ever known, it is like you are still a child. One thing that helped me was going to the Unitarian Universalist meetings. There are people there who are christian, atheists, agnostics, pagans, etc. It is not for everyone; but, I thought it might help some who feel they have nowhere to go.

  Shygurli (Stella) Obviously, somehow you missed out on the fear most of the ex JWs felt when we were growing up or you wouldn't even be reading this board. The witnesses tell you not to even look at anything written by ex JWs. When I was a believing witnesses I would have been feeling such guilt in doing anything that the JWs said not to do. I thought what they said was as if God said it himself.

  Life is not always happy for anyone and it is very hard to leave something that has been your entire world. That is one of the things that Witnesses use to keep you in their grips. "Where will you go?" I hope you learn to have compassion and love for others who are not Witnesses. BTW, did you know that Jehovah's Witnesses have a very high depression rate?

  Well, I am proud of you for looking. That means your mind is not completly closed. I hope you continue to look, the more you look the less brainwashed you'll be.

  Love to you all,
  Cheri

  Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.

  Einstein