The Vent of Whathehadas

by whathehadas 9 Replies latest jw experiences

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  whathehadas

  I wish I could go back and get away from all the time I spent sitting in those Kingdom Hall seats.

  I wish I could go back and take back all those comments made for the Watchtower and book study.

  I wish I could go back and take back all the money spent on buying suits and book bags.

  I wish I could go back and take all the money......no wait....some of the money that I placed in the donation box.

  I wish I could go back and hang with all the friends labeled as bad association.

  All in all, I hate that orginization. The time spent there worrying about my "spirituality" and trying to be happy amongst fakeness. The time spent that has no monetary value. Time that I will always remember and never be able to get back. The Time that I had low self esteem and was easily manipulated. The time spent having social anxiety, which I still have today. The Time spent listening to the half-truths and outright lies. The time wasted waking up, and going out in Field Service.

  I see why a lot of people are angry and rightfully so. I hate this bosturd religion and hope they burn in their own fiery hell!
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  00DAD

  Agreed and well said!
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  fortis et liber

  Hear hear!
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  AnneB

  If what you did back then was the best you knew and could understand at the time, why are you complaining now?

  I don't regret any of it. The way I look at it, there were things I needed to learn and help I needed to have, and WT/JW's-as-individuals provided that assistance in a manner that I could comprehend and accept. Now, what came along with the "good" may not have been all positive, but when is everything ever "perfect" in life?

  As bad as it was, there was good in there too! Acknowledge both....and move *forward*.

  AB
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  Black Sheep

  there were things I needed to learn and help I needed to have

  The price for what you get is way too high...

  ... and I have had all of that from Worldlys without all the mind control, guilt, etc..

  There is nothing 'good' that you can find in the Tower isn't available elsewhere.
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  AnneB

  Of course the "good" that can be found in WT (and individuals who are JW's) can be found elsewhere. The point is....we weren't "elsewhere" or able to get there, or we would have *been* there! We were all doing the best that we understood at the time, with our individual limitations, be they material, intellectual, etc., and WT is where we ended up. That's why I say I don't regret anything: it's where I was, it's what I was able to access, it had "bad" and "good" just like any other option (whether or not those options were accessible to me in my particular circumstances at the time). It isn't about the cost; people "pay" whatever they have to when their backs are against a wall, and that's how we were...or we wouldn't have taken the WT Way. So, having done it, why gripe? Grieve, maybe, but not gripe. Take it for what it was (good and bad both acknowledged to the degree appropriate for each) and move on. Or complain, crumble, and be crushed. Your choice.
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  Broken Promises

  It's ok to vent now and again. It prevents us from stewing over stuff for ages. Just get it out of your system and you'll feel better for it.
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  Black Sheep

  Your choice

  Bollocks

  There was no choice for the likes of me. I didn't choose to pay the price for my parent's choice of membership of Rutherford's shonky little cult. I was just an innocent child with no beliefs in any gods that were not fed to me by Rutherford's loony converts.

  The nearest thing I got to a choice was the choice not to join.

  Did you choose to join Anne?
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  whathehadas

  I don't want to cry over spilled milk, but it hurts to be lied to, intentionally and unintentionally. I can't get that time back. There was some good that I got from that experience. Though it was very minimal.
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  QueenWitch

  I get angry because of the following reasons

  -explaining to kids why I don't have new clothes for xmas

  -declining invitations to birthday parties

  -unable to be involved in any after school activities

  -not dating or going to prom or any other high school social event

  -unable to be happy for my pregnancy at age 16

  -still sneaking to have boyfriend at age 19. I still couldn't have phone calls from "boys".

  -embarrassed to walk to bookstudy while neighborhood kids are playing outside & generally embarrassed to be JW

  -missing Sat morning cartoons