I'm outside in the 90° heat doing landscaping with my neighbor/ friend. Two women in dresses, nylons, and heels walked carefully across the newly tilled dirt to get to us and start their presentation.
Woman 1: We are talking with your neighbors about the increase in crime lately. Do you worry about your safety?
Friend: This is a pretty low crime area, so no.
Woman 1: *looks flustered*
Woman 2: But would you agree that crime has increased in general in the world today? The news is full of sad stories.
Friend: There was a great piece last night about a record number of young people who showed up to build and plant a community garden downtown. That was pretty uplifting!
Woman 2: *trying to gain control of the conversation* That is a nice story, but in general, crime has increased in the last decade...
Friend: look, I don't want to waste your time or her time (points at me) and you look miserable in those nylons. I am Jewish and I have no interest in your religion.
Woman 1: Is it Christianity you have problems with? Because most churches teach...
Friend: Trust me, I don't want anything to do with your church.
Woman 1: *cringes at the word church* I would like to share a quick scripture with you that may give you a different perspective...
Friend: *turns to me* I thought you said that they would leave if I said I wanted then to go.
Me: Tell them to put you on the do not call list.
Friend: *turns to them* Okay, put me on the do not call list. I'm not going to join your cult.
Me: *laughing* Nice!
Woman 1: *clearly offended* I can assure you, we are not a cult.
Woman 2: *to me* How did you know about our list?
Me: I used to be one of you. Now I just warn people about your dangerous policies that endanger the lives of children and break up families.
Woman 1: Are you disfellowshipped?
Me: Nope. But you should be careful, I am am evil apostate! *smiling big*
Their faces paled and they walked as fast as they could in heels through the loose soil. My neighbor was laughing. They started up my walk and I yelled to them that no one in my house was interested either. They stopped and wrote some things down and kept on. Later our other neighbor told us that he asked them about the pedophile case in CA. They didn't answer, just walked away. I'll bet that they were anxious for break after my rough neighborhood.