"Kingdom Hall Survival Guide Rule 2" Don't Buy A Station Wagon or Van!

by Bubblegum Apotheosis 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Bubblegum Apotheosis
    Bubblegum Apotheosis

    You have read the latest Watchtowers and Awakes, listened to the (friends?) and decided you want to contribute to the Kingdom Work on a larger scale. What do you do? Do you want to buy a car that everyone want's to ride in on Field Service Saturday? That's the day that everyone's car is loaded with their work tools (ladders, mops, buckets, feather-dusters) or they brought their two door hatchback or their spouse dropped them off at the Kingdom Hall. Ok, you and your wife, after heavy prayerful consideration are pondering what to do. Your wife ask you if you ever got the "Sharpie" marker letters off the car seat, "yeah, what was going through Sister "Half-cocked's" mind, why did she allow those little demons to go Jackson Pollock on your car?"

    After much deliberation on this subject, and all the bad Carma received by the loving brothers, you decided to buy a new 305 hp Ford Mustang, and you now offer to help unload the friends work gear into the Kingdom Hall. Brother "My gas tank is low" is handed a $5 dollar bill, and you wedge yourself into the "in crowd's" car groups, as rumors circulate your "Rich Uncle" left you millions and the weaker (less rich brothers) links are pushed aside!

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    The young brothers nowadays probably don't want to climb the local ladder (MS, elder) so I bet a bunch of them are wanting sportier cars.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Even better: A bicycle or motorcycle. The bicycle gets about the best gas mileage you can get (if gas hits a nonillion toilet papers a liter, it won't hurt you). A motorcycle uses more gas, but not as much as a car and you can go faster than a bicycle. Bonus: Neither will get you any points in getting "privileges(??)"--though I wouldn't take the bicycle past the mormons at speeds lower than 100 km/h.

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    I had a 2-door car. It didn't save me.

  • DesirousOfChange
    DesirousOfChange

    We always bought the van.

    Using our material riches to further Kingdom interests.

    No more vans.

    Doc

  • finally awake
    finally awake

    we needed a minivan when we had the third kid - we used to drive an F350 SuperCab as our family car. No one ever wanted to ride in service with us in that beast even though it seated six comfortably. We always made the kids ride in the middle positions, so the adults got the window seats. But you just about needed a step ladder to get in.

  • blondie
    blondie

    We have had minivans. Twice when full of adults (not teeneagers) two major parts of the interior were destroyed, but no one did it...we had to pay for it. After that, no one, even an adult could be left alone in our van without me or my husband being there. We had a no food, no candy, no gum rule, no drink except water too. Those who didn't like our rules could take their own vehicle. The COs and their wives were always good about giving gas money along with older jws and the pioneers. It was the couples with no children who both had good jobs, that never offered, except when they were riding with us and the CO.

  • sseveninches
    sseveninches

    I have two bicycles...they are my transportation. When I move out, that won't be changing. No one's getting any free rides...while I'm still in.

  • JustHuman14
    JustHuman14

    I had a big motorbike, it was a nacked Ducatti, and still I got privillages

  • Bubblegum Apotheosis
    Bubblegum Apotheosis

    I feel for the brothers and sisters who drove the incontinent dubs to meetings. I know a sister whose new Lexus was soaked with urine and excrement, the wife of this brother forgot to tell her about her husband's bathroom problems. Sister "Happy" bought a new $45k Toyota SVU, two little devils drew all over this car, how her unbelieving husband reacted, she never told me.

    Blondie's idea is good if you are able to control who is in your cargroup. Most people have been stuck with undesirable ones, leaving us to clean up our cars after a mess!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit