Do wives just tag along?

sleepy

Do wives just tag along?
I'm sure this applies to husbands and children too, but i feel mostly women.
In the congregation there were often brothers viewed as strong , in postions of responsability such as Min's and elders.Usually in my experience the wives were no where near as "spiritual".
In fact it often seamed as though there "service" was based on their husbands.
I've seen this in men to but not as much.
Now the proof of this is in whether a large number of spouces leave the truth without much persuading needed by their more forthright wives or husbands.
Heres an example.
Mine.
My wife has never read an apostate book and doesn't look on the internet, but as soon as I stoped going to the hall so did she.
Another contrary experience is of a prominant elder in France who was well known and gave talks on the District assemblies.As soon as his wife died he left the truth as he was only going to please her.
Whats your experience been.
(Please don't get mad at me ladies I'm only talking about what I've seen)

LB

In regards to our atttending meetings I stopped first. My wife continued for another year. So in that area she just didn't follow me. She also never tried to talk me into going back and I didn't try to talk her out of attending.

Do they follow along? I think many wives do. Especially if the husband is controlling or the wife has that need to be led.

I'm grateful I'm not married to a needy woman. Her needs don't even include me and that's a good thing.

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

writerpen

Personally, I never noticed the womens spirituality based upon their husbands. What I have noticed though is that the spirituality of men in the BORG is based on the position they hold. How many times growing up did I see an elder deleted and never saw him return to the KH. I may be wrong in saying this, but my observation has been that men remain because of the power they have or may some day be awarded. On the other hand, you will see women with unbelieving mates tagging all the kids along to the meetings, going out in field service, etc. Just my observation though.

Cygnus

Well, in my area (western NY state), the wives put on a good show of spirituality. The men are extremely conservative. I was once counseled for putting my arm around my fiance in the presence of her mother!

BUT, the women are also much more liberal in their thinking and behavior than the men. I know this because for very many years I would have my day off during the week so I would go out in field service on a Wednesday or a Thursday and very often the group would consist of me with 7 or 8 sisters. So I would spend 3-4 hours with these ladies and I got to hear a lot.

Yet, when it came to Jehovah, the women are very steadfast. It my area, rank apostasy is very rare (except for me of course). And, except for women with obvious mental problems, I can't think of any in the last 15 years who just up and quit, with husband or not.

Cygnus

LB,

: I'm grateful I'm not married to a needy woman. Her needs don't even include me and that's a good thing.

Amen, brutha. A thousand amens.

Cyg, whose wife is pioneering this month

sleepy

writerpen.

What you just wrote sort of adds proof actually.
Think about it.When women want to do something and the husband doesnt , usually he won't.Hence mother draging their kids to the meeting alone.
While when men descide to become a witness more often than not thier wives come along too.

out4good3

LB

"I'm grateful I'm not married to a needy woman. Her needs don't even include me and that's a good thing."

Someone said Amen.....Amen is right. It's much better to have a woman that really wants you, but doesn't necessarily need you

LB

Ok out4good3 I'll mention that things would be much better if she wanted me.

Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

Smoldering Wick

I think it has to do with the part of country/world you live in. In our area (in this culture) it's the woman who is spiritually strong. The women do most of the research and answering at the meetings. The women are the one's in field service. The women are the ones writing their husband's talks and doing whatever it takes to make their husbands "successful" in the KH. Usually...it's the women who end up at the KH alone. I can only think of one example in the KH where the woman is the tag along in the relationship and they are transplants from another part of the country.

I'd like to share part of my story with you.

I had dreamt all my life (from age 13-16 lol) of marrying a very spiritual brother who I could lean on and learn from. Unfortunately, there was only one brother in our hall that fit the bill. He was a pioneer and being used as a MS...with a very promising future in the Org. I fell in love @ 15 with him and he with me. He was 17. We pioneered together. There were about 10 girls in the hall who also liked him. When he turned 18 he left to Bethel. Even though, I was completely in love with him...the thought of waiting two years to join him seemed like an eternity for me.

I met my future husband @ 16, he was 23. A brother from our hall was giving a talk at his (about 60 miles away) and I went along for support. Since we were sort of late, we were forced to sit in the front row. I noticed the tall, handsome Greek looking brother who was assigned mic and sound duty. My girlfriend (also 16 who had recently moved to that cong) caught me looking and leaned over to me and whispered "you should see the muscles that brother has under his suit!...AND he drives a cute little convertible" My first thought when I saw this brother (before my g/f said that lol) was "wouldn't it be weird if I married that guy" (no joke) What I didn't realize was that he was staring at me the entire meeting through the one-way mirror in the sound booth. We corresponded by phone and letter and he visited on the week ends...we were married six months later.

I wasn't in love with him...but, as soon as the brothers found out we were 'seeing' each other I felt obligated. The brother I was in love with came back from Bethel a year later and married my best friend. I was in love with him for 10 years until I forced myself to stop thinking of him. He happily serves as a CO.

Spiritually speaking the marriage was difficult. I wanted a spiritual man. He wasn't. I begged, cried, pleaded, threw tantrums...demanded. I wrote his talks. I MADE him go in service with me. I would even write out his answers for the Watchtower study so that he would "look" spiritual. They appointed him as a MS. I was happy...but, I thought (was taught) he should do more. I pioneered and figured that I was gonna drag his body with me into the New Order if I had to.

I've been married almost 20 years. Needless to say, when I walked away from the JWs almost 4 years ago...he didn't even give it a second thought and only went to one meeting in the last 4 years (just for the hell of it). He had been a JW first for his mother, then for me. He has seen how leaving has devastated me...how I have been consumed in my recovery. He has taken his position on the sidelines where he is comfortable...just relieved to know he doesn't have to tag along with me to the meetings anymore.

blindfool

I agree with SW.

Its seems the women are the ones that give most of the answers during the WT discussions. The women also seem to be the ones out in service. The women really seem to research their answers.

The only men commenting at the meetings are the elders and MS.

If the JW's are right, the new world will be full of women looking for men.

Do wives just tag along?

Share this