Opposite Sex Crazed Teen, or I'm being shunned by Hindu mom

by skeeter1 3 Replies latest social family

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  skeeter1

  So, another parent was going to the mall with her tween. They asked to take my tween along. Sure.

  The other parent, mother, is from India, Hindu. Arranged marraige, no dating, supervision until married . . . alot like the JWs. THis other parent is super nice, but is a very careful person. We joke on the block that she doesn't put one front in front of the other without asking the other foot first.

  My tween has posters of beautiul people, beginnign to notice the opposite sex, etc. So, my brash American tween decides to declare to the Indian tween, "Let's go shopping for (opposite sex)". The Indian tween is a wild one, but not in front of the Indian mother. The Indian tween is smart, coy, and says, "No, I'm not interested." To which, my tween went on a "What's the matter?" in disbelief as they had been salivating over my tween's posters of fully dressed teen idols earlier that day.

  The Indian mother returns with my tween, and, in a huff & puff, notes the alarming opposite sex chasing behavior. Her tween has not visited us today. I think I'm being shunned by a fundmentalist Hindu!

  ......

  I think it's normal for a tween to start to notice the opposite sex. Not a big deal in my book. I countered it with the "personality over looks" talk; which my tween knew. My tween said it was a game and in fun, cuz the $20 bill to do some real shopping was misplaced.

  But, the Hindu mom is living in a box. Much like the JWs. But, these people wrote the Kuma Satra (whatever)
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  baltar447

  I need a bumper sticker that says:

  IH8FUNDIES
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  skeeter1

  To make it even better, I said, "My (tween) can date at 16 years old, with restrictions."

  OMG! The Indian mother almost crapped in her pants! She said, "Oh, my (tween) can date when I marry them"

  To which, I told her what happened in JWs (people not in love with each other have horrible marraiges, marry too quickly, wrong mate). Now, my Hindu mother knows this as she divorced her betroved due to the marraige being hell. To which I then said, "Oh, the JW kids also learn to sneak around their parents." To which her eyes went widly open in a way that she knew what I was talking about.

  Fundies - no matter what the group have the same experiences. Some are able to break free, and others repeat the cycle.
• 

  King Solomon

  I've known a Westernized Indian who listened to rap, raised in schools/colleges here so no accent, smart successful, etc but he still decided to go the route of the arranged marriage.

  The thinking is the parents know what makes for a more-powerful alliance, and obviously familial blessing is a factor for helping the marriage survive. It's worked for 1000's of years, and depends on the wisdom of one's elders. BTW, the couple has to agree with their parent's choice: it's just that they're choosing their prospective mates, but the final approval is theirs. The couple learns to fall in love. My friend has 3 kids now, and seems happy.

  But the fact is, even if the kids DON'T comply with their parents wishes, they do NOT shun them like the JWs do! Did you tell her that JW's are forced to shun their children if they were DFed for a minor violation, say, smoking? I bet not....