After 40 yrs, I'm still trying to figure out why they call themselves "Jehovah's Witnesses" (which is another thread I'll start), but I ran across Rev 11, which offers a stunning prophecy of "The Two Witnesses" :
Rev 11:
3 And I will grant authority to my two witnesses, and they will prophesy for p1,260 days, qclothed in sackcloth.”
Well, we're off to a rocky start: most JWs are very fashion-conscious, and I'm not sure that sackcloth would work for them (unless that includes designer silk sackcloth ties, offered in a spectrum of colors, to go with the sackcloth suit).
And if "a day is 1,000 years to the Lord" re-adjustment to chronology applies (as it must: 1260 literal days is less than 4 yrs), then JWs are maybe a tad early with the "last days" warning: 1870 CE (date JWs formed) + 1,260,000 yrs = 1,261,870 CE.
4 These are rthe two olive trees and the two lampstands that stand before the Lord of the earth. 5 And if anyone would harm them, sfire pours from their mouth and consumes their foes. If anyone would harm them, tthis is how he is doomed to be killed. 6 They have the power uto shut the sky, that no rain may fall during the days of their prophesying, and they have power over the waters to turn them into blood and vto strike the earth with every kind of plague, as often as they desire.
WOW! Now we're getting somewhere! Some uppity householder turns the sprinklers on them, and there will be PAYBACK which would horrify even Carrie!! And you think the GB has power NOW? You ain't seen nuttin'!
7 And when they have finished their testimony, wthe beast that rises from xthe bottomless pit1ywill make war on them and conquer them and kill them, 8 and their dead bodies will lie in the street of the great city that symbolically2 is called zSodom and aEgypt, where their Lord was crucified. 9 For three and a half days some from the peoples and tribes and languages and nations will gaze at their dead bodies and brefuse to let them be placed in a tomb,
Uh, say what? Wait a minute.... This an unanticipated turn of events....
Is that WHY WTBTS didn't pick up the "Two Witnesses" prophecy as applying to them?
What: scaredly cats? Are there no volunteers for this suicide mission? Huh, that's surprising: it fits PERFECTLY with the "persecution complex" they encourage.
Besides, it sounds alot like the fate they'd wish upon NON-BELIEVERS who are destroyed at Armageddon, with "eyes pecked out of the heads of the dead bodies" kind of stuff... Shoe's on the other foot, and having one's body on display for mutilation is not so much fun, is it?
10 and cthose who dwell on the earth will rejoice over them and make merry and dexchange presents, because these two prophets ehad been a torment to those who dwell on the earth.
Clearly another Biblical denunciation of X-Mas, birthdays, etc.
And rejoicing over the deaths of those who only annoyed you, by disturbing your peaceful Saturday morning at home, is wrong (overlooking the fact the dead caused droughts, or made it rain blood, etc. Sure, seeing one's car finish destroyed by the effects of blood eating into it's paint IS annoying, but does that warrant experiencing schadenfreude over the perpetrator's death?)
11 But after the three and a half days fa breath of life from God entered them, and they stood up on their feet, and great fear fell on those who saw them. 12 Then they heard a loud voice from heaven saying to them, g“Come up here!” And hthey went up to heaven iin a cloud, and their enemies watched them.
"Resurrection, followed by ascent to heaven"? Hmmm, rings a bell.... But am I sensing a heavenly hope for not just the 144,000?
GB needs to get some "new light" on this matter, and back-peddle on the policy of the Earthly Hope for the Great Crowd stuff (with Heaven as an exclusive "members only" club, where you've got to know someone, or grease the maitre-de', to get in). The "1914 last generation" time-line stuff is deadly to a cult when it fails.
The "Armageddon is near!" message should be backed-away from as quickly as possible, and a date of 1,261,870 CE should give ANY dooms-day cult worth it's salt PLENTY of breathing room to work with!
And when you, the dear reader, sees this "new light" appearing in a future Watchtower (say, in 2013), you can thank me, King Solomon, for coming up with the idea, and thank JWN for serving as the channel for me to deliver this Divinely-inspired interpretation!