What to tell your kids

TheListener

What did you tell your children about why you don't go to meetings anymore or aren't a witness? Especially if you have a witness spouse.

Just Ron and I left the borg together. Our kids were 12, 10, and just turned 4. We spoke with each child individually. For the youngest, we just told him we weren't going to go to meetings anymore and he was really not too interested in talking about why. With the older two, we talked about the way people at the hall acted badly and the hypocrisy they displayed. We talked about the holidays and how the witnesses were wrong to forbid celebrating. Our kids though really didn't seem to worry about "spiritual" issues - they never once expressed a fear that Jehovah would be angry with us, or we would die at Armageddon. In retrospect, I don't think either of them actually believed anything they were hearing at the kingdom hall. They didn't like going to meetings, they hated field service, and assemblies were pure torture. They craved normalcy, a regular family life, and a regular childhood. So we had it really easy - I know it must be really hard if the kid actually believes the witnesses are right.

James Brown

I escaped the tower in 83.

That was 7 years after 1976.

My son was 10 years old then.

I told him Jw's were a false religion, I apologized to him for exposing him to such nonsense

I also told him I was born in the organization so I didnt know any better.

As I said, he was 10 years old. You know he didnt cry any tears about not having to go to meetings or field circus.

King Solomon

Finally awake said:

" They craved normalcy, a regular family life, and a regular childhood. So we had it really easy"

I can imagine the disappointment on their faces when you said, "Kids, we're really sorry to break it to you, but we'll be celebrating Xmas this year....". ;)

Definitely a 'teachable event' for the kids: rather than trying to tip-toe around it (as some may be tempted to do), what a great opportunity for them to learn about the dangers of peer-pressure (hint: its not just teens who are susceptible), not just going along with the group, but using their own heads....

whathappened

What a great learning experience for your children. You are going to teach them that it is ok to leave an organization or a belief that you discover is wrong. You are also teaching them that it's ok to admit you were wrong. This is a good t hing for them. Don't worry...kids are adaptable and they will be better off after its all out in the open.

finally awake

King Solomon said "I can imagine the disappointment on their faces when you said, "Kids, we're really sorry to break it to you, but we'll be celebrating Xmas this year....".

We actually left the borg in late November of 2011, and we were really fumbling our way at first. Neither of us really knew what we wanted to do, I didn't even realize that I didn't believe the witnesses didn't have the "truth". It took us several weeks of talking and reading here before we were able to really figure things out. So we didn't celebrate Christmas that year, but we did celebrate our middle son's birthday at the end of January. I fully intend to go all out at Christmas this year though.

Scully

Mr Scully and I left together, although I pretty much got the ball rolling with research and questions. Our eldest was 8 years old, and the younger two were still in diapers. We sat down with the eldest and explained that it was important to own up to mistakes, no matter how old you are, and that we had made a mistake believing the JWs.

At first he was upset and asked if he could still go to the Meetings™ with Brother™ So-and-so. We explained that when he was older he could decide to be a JW if he still really wanted, but that now we were going to be a normal family like all the kids in school, and have birthday parties and Christmas and Easter and play sports and do fun things instead of going to Meetings™ all the time. He's never looked back.

JeffT

What Finallyawake said. Ours were 12,11, and 4. We'd been drifting away for awhile, I don't think the four year old noticed (23 years later he has no recollection of it at all). Our 12 year old son calmly informed us that he when he turned 13 he planned on telling us he didn't want to be a JW anymore.

wisdomfrombelow

My kids know I am disfellowshipped, they were there when it happened. They don't go anymore and I couldn't be happier.

What to tell your kids

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