Marriage

by Kool Jo 8 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Kool Jo

  So I was just thinking...since many of us became aware of the real truth about the WTBS, many have also questioned the existence of a God, the truthfulness of the Bible/Holy Books and the many practices associated with religion/christianity...

  Some have started to celebrate birthdays, christmas ect after leaving the borg...for those out there, I have a question regarding marriage:

  1. Do you still think that marriage is important? I've noticed many folks are no longer getting married, but living together, have kids and seem to be just as happy as those who became married.

  2. In the Bible, pre-maritial sex is looked down on...but for those who are free of the borg/religion, what are your current views on premartial sex?

  Thanks,

  Kool Jo
• 

  baltar447

  My marriage, while going through some real trying times, has gotten stronger since leaving. When you don't have someone FORCING you to stay together but you WANT to stay together it's so much stronger. And something to be said for leaving religious beliefs behind and staying comitted and in love just seems to make the bond more concrete.
• 

  finally awake

  I think marriage is still important in the USA, for financial and legal reasons. I don't think that marriage makes any difference in the quality of the relationship or its durability. In the future, it may not matter if a couple is "married" or not for tax purposes, insurance, inheritance rights etc, but right now it still does make a huge difference.

  I honestly believe that non-marital sex is perfectly OK. I don't think young teens should be humping indiscriminately like rabbits, and I do think a person should have self respect and be selective about who and when to engage in sex with. On a personal level, I was 14 when I started having sex. I was responsible and choosy about partners, and I was 100% commited to serial monogamy. I was mature enough to handle the practical aspects but not the emotional fallout. I was unprepared for the ugliness of the inevitable breakups. I think 14 is way too young, and given the pressure cooker nature of the US public school system, it would be far better to avoid dating or hooking up with anyone you'll be forced to see every day until high school is over. I don't know why I didn't learn from my mom - she dated a coworker and they were actually engaged when she got cold feet. She had to continue to work with him every day for the next 25 years - awkward!
• 

  cantleave

  Personally I am happily married, but...

  I don't think marriage is as important as the loving relationship it represents. It is just a piece paper to show your long term commitment to one another. It is not necessary and I would not be upset if my kids decided not to embark on marriage (it will save me a fortune!)
• 

  diamondiiz

  1. marriage is a piece of paper, it won't make your relationship any better than it already is.

  2. I would never ever recommend marriage to anyone before living with their mate first. Without living together first, without the intimicy that comes with sex you have no idea if the person is right for you or if you're right for them. When peoplesay that JWs are damaged goods, there is a reason for it.
• 

  St George of England

  1. The only reason to get married or form a civil partnership (in the UK) is for Inheritance Tax planning. For this reason alone I think it's worthwhile. Currently the 'nil rate band' is £325,000 with IHT at 40% over this limit. Most of us that own our homes, certainly in the South of England, would exceed this limit. No longer is there any sort of stigma to 'living in sin' and I do not believe it disadvantages any children so if the IHT is irrelevant to you then so is marriage.

  2. I do not feel sex has any special 'meaning' in a relationship as religious people such as JW's would have you believe. Take care not to be responsible for unwanted pregnancies or catch anything undesirable but beyond that go for it when the opportunity presents itself. This attitude is probably due to being raised as a JW, never had sex until I was married and only ever had sex with one person, my wife. I really feel I missed out in my adolescence due to the WTS, it is gone forever.

  George
• 

  dreamgolfer

  In the USA, Marriage is important for many reasons,

  survivorship, power of attorney, visiting hours at the hospital.

  Plus, if you dont have a "main squeeze", you could die alone (not a nice thing)

  Be married, Be happy!
• 

  mrsjones5

  I had been out of the bOrg for several years before I married my husband. Come December we will have been married twenty years. We lived together first as did my brother and his wife (they've been together since high school and married several years after). None of us had to get married. We married because we wanted to.

  Happy to say we all think the wt is a cult (I've had long conversations with my brother about that ).
• 

  QueenWitch

  Marriage is important from a legal standpoint. From a religious / spirtual standpoint, it's only as important as the parties involved make it. I teach my son that having sex without being able to take care of yourself, your partner, and any resulting children is frowned upon. He's 16. I also tell him that it's preferable to be in a committed relationship. I do NOT tell him that it is necessary to be married. My 20 yr old daughter lives with her boyfriend. I disprove only because I don't like him and I think he is wrong for her. But she's grown, and it's none of my business. I'm going to visit them for her 21st birthday.

  And yes, I fully support persons living together without being legally married.