Hi Apostate Man,
Well the YOYOentity makes the answer sound quite simple doesnt he? Actually, the answers to most of your questions have changed so much over the years that all a JW can do is give you the 'current' answer. JW's believe in "new light" which basically means that, pending negaive backlash or bad publicity, the answers to any rule or doctrine can change at any given time. If need be it can also change back to the original.
JW's are supposed to be against guns however I know dubs who have them. My father (an elder for 40 years) has one even now.
JWs can help someone on rare occasion without talking about Jehovah BUT as a good christian you are supposed to talk about Jehovah at every opportunity. If you were helping someone on a regular basis, this would be a perfect opportunity to do some 'informal witnessesing' and anyone who didnt take that opportunity would be a poor excuse for a witness in their eyes.
However, to have continuous contact with an unbeliever in a non business setting is definately NOT acceptable. Even if you are helping them out you could still be affected by their evil ways. "Bad associations spoils useful habits".
JWs used to have a hard non flexible rule that said if you and your spouse were guilty of fellatio you were to either repent and not do it anymore or be disfellowshiped. Many marriages ended and peoples lives were messed up over that issue. Now it is left up to the individual couple to decide (at least the last time i heard..who knows its been a couple weeks now).
It used to be that you could not do ANYTHING that had ANYTHING to do with the Government. That included delivering milk to people who happened to live in a military area or doing office work at the White House. I dont know what the current stand on that is so I am taking YOYOs response as true.."new light" has come forth again.
hope this helps.