Mother, Father, Brother, Son... just words

by irondork 9 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  irondork

  This month marks 1 year since I have seen or spoken with family. It's not the first time I've been through this. Disfellowshipped, reinstated, disassociated. So I'm an old pro at this disconnected "family" concept.

  One valuable lesson I recieved form the Watchtower, Bible and Tract Society is that words like Mother, Father, Brother, Son... are just words. They describe a person who performs a certain function or occupies a particular space in your life. When that function or space is no longer performed or occupied, the word no longer carries any meaning aside from an entry in the dictionary.

  Like our furry friends in the animal kingdom, once we are no longer children, these words are no longer necessary.

  Animals do better when they focus on survival rather than get hung up on meaningless words.
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  zeb

  ....... "down to gehenna or up to the throne, he travels the fastest who travels alone".....
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  clarity

  Irondork .... " So I'm an old pro at this disconnected "family" concept."

  >

  Old pro maybe ............... but not bulletproof!

  >

  You are so right on about the meaningless watchtower words ... only just empty words!

  >

  Hang in there bud

  clarity
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  paulnotsaul

  We're here for ya, homey. peaceID paulnotsaul
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  Quandry

  I would imagine that your family loves you but is enslaved by the WTS and in their mind feel that they are doing the right thing by shunning you to "bring you to your senses."

  They are taught that you are the one who abandoned them.

  I am so sorry that you are in this situation. Maybe sometime if you feel up to it, you could send them a card, just to say "I love you." It will go deep into the heart to a place that hopefully the WTS cannot penetrate.
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  sammielee24

  I absolutely disagree that familial words - mother, father, sister and brother - are meaningless.

  They invoke very clear attachments amongst humans as they are the words that define out social structure and our place inside the unit. They are extremely strong words and identifiers.

  A cult or any organization or government can use the word as a way to manipulate an individual into replacing those feelings of identity, loyalty, committment, love, honor, respect etc as a move toward an allegiance in their membership that can either oppose or replace that of the familial entity.

  That is why when you are a JW, your sister is not your one biological sister but many sisters - if you lose your biological sister, you have a warm family of many sisters. Ditto mother. Ditto brother - you respect the brothers - you may have no respect or attachment to your biological brothers.

  The use of the word 'brother' invokes in most people, a feeling of brotherhood or family and unification. That is why the world is so important. Trust. You trust a brother - you might not trust 'sir'. Emotional connections are extremely important.

  Fatherland? It is used to invoke a feeling of loyalty to the power that is your country. Ditto 'homeland'..a word not used much before Bush in order to invoke a 'them vs us' mentality. Emotion required to change laws and engage in security that you might not otherwise feel as attached to so quickly as when 'the homeland'...home is a word that pulls people in to a warm, fuzzy, protected and safe place you want to be at the end of the day.

  All these words are extremely powerful and that is exactly what others realize when they make a choice to use them to recruit and maintain their membership and how they can more easily switch off that emotional and mental connection you may have to 'real' family and move closer to theirs. sammieswife
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  watson

  One valuable lesson I recieved form the Watchtower, Bible and Tract Society is that words like Mother, Father, Brother, Son... are just words. They describe a person who performs a certain function or occupies a particular space in your life. When that function or space is no longer performed or occupied, the word no longer carries any meaning aside from an entry in the dictionary.

  That is very tough to read.
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  talesin

  Yes, I have a sibling. My parents have a son, but it is not my brother.

  My brothers are 'chosen family'. It took years to develop those relationships, but they are real.

  xo

  tal
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  trebor

  irondork,

  I hear ya...May of this year marked 4 years since I heard the voices of my mother, brother, and two sisters. Even longer since I have seen them. Still, I do not regret disassociating myself from the Watchtower Society. It's a cult or high level control group at best. I refuse to support it in any way. I would not be able to look myself in the mirror.

  Despite the loss and missing them terribly, it is the best thing I have ever done.
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  King Solomon

  irondork says:

  Animals do better when they focus on survival rather than get hung up on meaningless words.

  Yup, true...

  The real challenge though, is to break the cycle you were raised in, since you haven't seen or learned the dynamics of familial love as modelled by first-hand experience. That makes it HARDER to pursue, but NOT impossible. The gaultlet has been laid at your feet, to accept or step over, by focusing on what you never got (or THOUGHT you had, only to see it was illusion).

  One of the toughest things for me was just to simply accept the limitations of my parents and siblings, and realize they are human, and have their flaws. They got me to where I was able to continue without them, and now it's up to me to decide what I'm going to be/do.

  It's easy to not want to do it, as it's always easy to blame others, but ultimately it's up to each of us to figure out what we're going to do with OUR lives. The beautiful thing is, YOU have the capability to do WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT, to create your own loving World filled with a loving reality, since you're already paying the price (they've chosen to shun you; not vice-versa). You have the freedom to do it, and I'm betting you are doing that, and will continue doing it....