Democrat
You have 2 cows.
Your neighbor has none
You feel guilty for being successful
Barbara Streisand sings for you
Republican
You have 2 cows
Your neighbor has none
So?
Socialist
You have 2 cows
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow
Communist
You have 2 cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.
Capitalism, American Style
You have 2 cows
You sell one, and buy a bull, and build a herd of cows
Bureaucracy, American Style
You have 2 cows
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,
Milk the other and then pours the milk down the drain.
American Corporation
You have 2 cows
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2 nd one.
You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of 4 cows
You are surprised when 1 cow drops dead
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses
Your stock goes up.
Coffee