Elizabeth and Sara...
Two sisters are doing their math homework together. Sara is 10 and struggling with her new division homework. She can add and subtract with lightening speed, and even do multiplication pretty well, but division is quite a bit more difficult. She nibbles her fingernails as she concentrates on the figures in front of her. Her strawberry blonde hair is falling in her face, but she ignores it as she tries to remember the math rules her teacher taught that day.
Elizabeth is 15 and memorizing formulas for her advanced high school math class. She’s a straight A student and loves math. It’s predictable and reliable. Even with all the variables in math, with a formula the ending is always constant. She looks over at her little sister and realizes the frustration in the small child’s face. Their eyes meet and Sara’s are full of tears. Elizabeth is silent as she scoots her chair closer to Sara.
“You look like you’re having a hard time. Can I help?”
“I hate division!” she blurts out emphatically.
Elizabeth smiles at this little version of herself. She remembers all too well the frustration of “multiplying backwards.” She struggled with it for months before she felt comfortable with it. She takes the pencil from Sara’s hand and sets it down. Sara’s little shoulders heave in as she begins to cry.
“There, there.” Elizabeth coos as she holds her sister in a hug. “I know it’s frustrating. This isn’t easy stuff.”
“What do you know?” Sara lashes out angrily. “You’re a straight A math student. You’re good at this. You’re good at everything!”
Elizabeth is hurt and surprised as little Sara pushes her sister’s hugs away. How many times had she said those same words to Mother, when Mother tried to help her with homework? She felt so much empathy for the child’s frustration. Not pulling her chair away, she let Sara continue crying.
“You know Sara, when I was your age, I wasn’t a straight A math student. In fact, I got held back in the 4th grade because I got so behind in my homework.”
Sara’s tear-stained face looked up in surprise. “You did?” she said as a cry-hiccup caught up with her.
Elizabeth smiled and nodded. “Yup. That’s why I’m fifteen and just in the 8th grade. All my classmates are younger than me. But Mother and Father and all my teachers worked very hard to make sure I studied hard in my lessons. Eventually I got very good at math, even division. As well as all my other subjects.”
Sara slowly stopped crying and began to listen to her sister’s story…
Steve and Bob...
Bob trains for the Olympics. He's got the perfect body, mind-set, and financial resources to allow him the privilege of training on a daily basis. He's handsome, well-liked, and a total shoo-in for the gold medal. He was barely eeked out four years ago by some guy from the Sandwich Islands.
Another man, Steve, is training for the same running event. Although Steve is good and has lots of potential, he is not anywhere close to Bob’s expertise. He's never taken very good care of his body, has a wife, a small child, and works a full-time job. But even with so many responsibilities he has a positive attitude and a lot of determination to pursue his dream of being an Olympic athlete. He doesn't really know what it will take to accomplish this goal, other than it will take a LOT!
But Bob has been training longer, is a little bit older, and has been to the Olympics before. Is it any wonder that Steve isn’t as good? Steve just needs some time and more experience.
On the first day of training together Bob tells Steve, “You’re an idiot? Can you see what you’re doing wrong? You’re not conserving energy the right way.”
Steve is taken aback by Bob’s harshness, but continues to train and stay with his program. Every day at practice Bob says rude and harsh things to Steve about his lack of performance. Now Steve isn’t really doing that bad. He’s making fine progress in his program and is gaining time every time he runs. But Bob's negative attitude is beginning to take a toll on him. Why can't the guy just leave him alone?
"Is he afraid of the competition?" Steve asks himself. But then laughs at the absurdity of it. His time is getting better, but Bob's a Real Athlete. None of this weekend warrior type of stuff. After several months of training and hearing Bob criticize and harp on him, Steve begins to question his ability. Although he gets great encouragement from his wife and friends, he decides to stop training. The goal of being an Olympic athlete is just too unrealistic.
The Billygoat Moral...
Now I know these stories are pretty sappy and unreal. But I would like to use them as examples of how powerful our words can be. On this board or real life they can make or break someones day. More often than now, we don't even know WHO our words are affecting. Now, I'm not saying to NOT be honest and NOT speak truth. As exJW's we probably value honesty more than most people in this world. We've been swindled - we know how bad that feels. But my point is that most times HOW we say something is just as important as WHAT we say.
We are all in different phases of life. Some of us have been out awhile and have learned from our "hard knocks". Some of us have been out the same time and not learned much. Time out of the borg doesn't always = maturity. Newbie doesn't always = stupidity/ignorance.
If you're one of those people that has learned a lesson or two, maybe you could share your wisdom with someone who's struggling. Maybe instead of thinking someone is an "idiot" or a "blind fool" we would do well to remember what it was like to be in that particular phase of Life. Remember how awful it was? Does it get better? Of course. Then why not share that instead of being negative?
Andi