Be thankful if you are shunned. . .. .

by skeeter1 7 Replies latest jw friends

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    I have a JW family member who very rarely comes to see me. Rarely calls me. But, now, for whatever reason is the time to see me.

    First two minutes - I was deluged with him showing me the Bible on a phone. Throughout the first 2 days, I was deluged with witnessing attempts. When he wasn't witnessing, he was on the phone with JWs back home . . . honing his next move. He'd get off the phone, and, whaaamoooo, more WTS shit. I couldn't slam the door on his face. At first, I tried to engage him. Then, it became so frustrating. I yelled he was in a cult. (I lost it, but you'd understand if you were trapped in a room with him). Then, I just started being real cold when he tried to witness. Then, I got it together and shut him up.....

    At first, he agreed that with me on the Candice Conti case and 2 witness rule problem. But, I think this was an attempt to try to get me "open" to witnessing.

    He's also mad about being denied disabled pioneer status and the WTS "losing" its record of his years of service. It sounds like he's lost many appeals. He has his own scripture of why they should count his time, but he will not make waves within the KH anymore. He's just going to put it in Jah's hands.

    He now wishes that he would have went to college instead of pioneering when he was young. He said, becuase education helps you to think better. (No, I didn't show him the 12/15 WT. SHOULD I?)

    His witnessing attempts were constant the first two days. I was batting right back. I got it to stop. For the next few days, it's been just all non-JW talk.

    The person who visited me is just too old to try to change. He can't hear well. I don't think he hears half of what is said at KH. I really think he attends for fellowship. It's like a gang. It's where he belongs, no matter how good or bad they treat him.

    In all of the conversations we had the first two days, one thing came very apparent. Faith has become reality to him. He can't separate that his thougths of man's/world's existence and afterlife are questions of faith and interpretation. He's very narrowed as the WTS as the only explanation. He had to find a an absolute truth, and only the WTS has the Truth.

    So, he finally asked me if I believed in any Truth out there? I said, the world is full of shades of grey, and you are talking about faith. So, he likens faith to gravity!!!! He said, "Well, isn't gravity a Truth." I said, yes, but our scientific understanding of gravity changes with the study of space, black holes, and for instance - the sun. If the sun were to go away, our concept of gravity would change. Science admits to always changing and to testing theories. Under different conditions, the experiment could change. We can test forces of gravity. We have a math equation that works in this world. "

    So, he goes on that when I go to the hospital i will need faith. I agreed that every person has intellectual capability and should be building his perception of our origins, the afterlife, etc. But, that is faith of the comlete unknown. It's what makes it f-a-i-t-h. Faiths are not the same. One God is not different then the other.

    So, he goes onto how loving 'Jehovah' is. I said, "I think Jehovah's nuts. He commanded a father kill his first-born son." He said, "Well, the angel stopped it." I said sarcastically said "Wow, that makes me feel better." I remind him of all the wars Jehovah made. He reasons that they were for good. I laughed out loud, as a Bible written/compiled in 200 a.d. can write justifications; and each side of a war thinks it's right."

    We got into the Bible's origins. No, he's never heard of things like the Book of Eve. He thinks it was written down by the apostles. That is 100% God's word - becuase it says so. I tried to explain circular reasoning.

    So, I figured that if I sounded like a complete nut to him, he'd give up. I asked him if he ever heard of the 'Jesus was influenced by Buddhism' theory? He looked down in disgust that I had come so far. I went on & on & on about the PBS documentary based on history . . . .

    I think my debunking the Bible (and Jesus as Buddhist) is what finally made him shut up. To him, my version of faith was as wacky as I thought his version of faith was.

    Maybe we all thought that way at one time. We melded faith into reality.

    I learned that I am free from this cult. I can separate one's faith from reality. They don't have control over me.

    Skeeter

  • NeverKnew
    NeverKnew

    I'm feeling the frustration just in talking to JWs.

    So, if I marry my JW friend who knows my adopting this crap ain't happening, how do I receive this blessing of shunning?

    Can a worldly receive this?

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    Don't marry a JW!!!!!!

    They will "lie" to a worldly to marry them first, convert later.

    What if you have kids? Oh MY GOD. They will be indoctrinating your kids in your house, taking them to the KH. If you fight it, then they will be encouraged to divorce you becuase you are a threat to their relationship with Jehovah. They will try to get custody of your children. They will discourage higher education, sports, totally not allow holidays, etc.

    JWs can date worldly people. They are sex deprived. It feels good to have someone to share life, and they are rosy when dating. But when they marry, then get laid and G-U-I-L-T over pre-marital sex, not marrying a JW, etc.. To help the guilt, they go back to the KH to work on their own spirituality. Theare respected, somewhat, among the group. But, not as much respect had they married another JW. The religion reminds them of the many perils in marrying a worldly. This will lead them to be angry when returning from the KH (or a few days later if they stew over it) as you aren't going to become a JW. A fight will ensue between the married people, the root of which is really the guilt circle. Wish you could meet my in-law who is trapped with being married to a JW. His life is living HELL.

    A JW's whole relationship is to convert. When that doesn't work,

    Just trying to save you a life of misery.

  • NeverKnew
    NeverKnew

    Aw... don't worry. I'm over 40 and my equipment has been medically shut down so if I become pregnant, I'll be recommending that even the atheists find a religion - FAST.

    I've been successful in *fading* from the one of two blood family JW members I've met. Helped her with a legal matter and was outta there! Given what I've learned, I want as little exposure as possible to the two baptized JWs in his world.

  • Scully
    Scully

    So, he goes onto how loving 'Jehovah' is. I said, "I think Jehovah's nuts. He commanded a father kill his first-born son." He said, "Well, the angel stopped it."

    I'd ask him where in the hell that "angel" is whenever a child dies from their parents refusing a blood transfusion.

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    " But, now, for whatever reason is the time to see me...."

    No offence, but I bet he is there to get some easy hours in......

    If he stays a few days he will claim 8hrs a day. Hence he keeps bringing it up. Why not ask him and specifically say you dont want him to count ANY time he spends with you, that you are family, not a project. That you would be offended if he did. Though you will happily talk in an equal, clock off, open discussion.

    Snare

  • outsmartthesystem
    outsmartthesystem

    "So, he finally asked me if I believed in any Truth out there? I said, the world is full of shades of grey, and you are talking about faith. So, he likens faith to gravity!!!! He said, "Well, isn't gravity a Truth." I said, yes, but our scientific understanding of gravity changes with the study of space, black holes, and for instance - the sun. If the sun were to go away, our concept of gravity would change. Science admits to always changing and to testing theories. Under different conditions, the experiment could change. We can test forces of gravity. We have a math equation that works in this world. "

    I am surprised he didn't fire back with "EXACTLY! The society is the same way! Always progressing with new understanding! Isn't it wonderful?"

  • outsmartthesystem
    outsmartthesystem

    Neverknew - Speaking from someone whose heart aches every single day (my wife is a JW.....I am a faded JW) be careful! Before you marry this JW......think about your future. What if he/she becomes UBERstrict in the future? What if there is a change in policy by the GB in the future that has an affect on your sex life or your personal life? Regardless of what he/she tells you......serving Jehovah (aka obeying what the governing body says) is more important than you. Think about any future children you may have. He/She is going to want to raise them as JWs. It will crush your heart to see them be indoctrinated.

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