Blame Norway

by Abaddon 9 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon

    Well, I am stunned...

    ... there I was, like any normal sane rational thinking person, thinking that it's all Canada's fault, when it turns out that it's Norway all along!

    Get this, it's OBVIOUSLY part of a Judeao-Reptiloid-Norweigan conspiracy...

    A group of Norwegians are demanding the return of The Orklands and the Shetlands.

    Now, before the more confused amongst us get worried, this has nothing to do with Tolkein or children's ponies.

    The Shetlands and the Orknies are two groups of islands to the north of Scotland in the North Sea.

    They used to belong to the Norwegians, dating back to a time when, broadly speaking, whatever Norwegians wanted belonged to them (with a little help from a longship and a group of guys in pointy hats waving sharp objects).

    This was never contested by England, or Scotland, or anyone who liked their head remaining on top of their shoulders, until the King of Norway couldn't pony up the loot for a dowery - he was marrying his daughter off to someone who knew what the word 'barber' meant, and didn't wear hats with screw-om horns all the time, and didn't have a surname like 'Bloodaxe', social climbing as Kings do.

    Instead, he gave The Shetlands and The Orknies to the King of England, on the understanding that when he paid up, he'd get them back.

    Well, this never happened. Quite how someone can forget (maybe it's something to do with the pointy hats) one has written an IOU in the form of two, quite large, GROUPS of islands (we're not just talking three acres of seagull shit here), I don't know. The IOU included the people on them... and to this day, asking an Ork (or whatever you call them) what Tartan they wear is likely to get them longing for the days when you could remove people's heads for asking damn fool questions, as they are NOT Scottish.

    But now they want 'em back... just shows that them brokering the ceasefire in Sri Lanka was a ruse...

    Blame Norway!

  • expatbrit
    expatbrit

    Have they ponied up the dosh then?

    Expatbrit

  • avengers
    avengers

    Did the Norwegians discover America, or was it the Vikings?

  • Abaddon
    Abaddon

    Well avengers, at that point the Swedes weren't making jokes about Norwegians and the Norwegians weren't making jokes about Sewedes, as no one had got around to inventing Norwegians or Swedes, or Americans for that matter (other than the original sort is). Basically if you were being chased by a 6' blonde bereserker with a battleaxe and a 'come hither' look in his eye, you didn't particulary care which part of Scandanavia he came from.

    From what I remember they came in waves, but a lot that made it to England were actually Danes, although typically they ALL look the same (those pointy hats), which is typical of there duplicitous plan to take over the world. At least with proper foreigners you can tell where they come from... clogs; Dutch... dumb-ass hats with feathers; Austrians... string of onions; french (baugette under one arm optional)... scooter; Italian... Cowboy Hat; American (USS Nimitz class nuclear aircraft carrier optional.

    So I think Vikings is a general term, translaetd in Saxon as 'We're all going to die', although I'm sure there's someone out there who actually knows the answer, I doubt if it's as pleasing as believing benign nonsense. But Eric Liefsson? Dunno where he came from. He didn't discover America though. He just didn't know it was there. Different thing. It was discovered a long time ago by an ancestrally distinct group of Amerindians who are now only found in Tiera del Feugo, if memory serves, although given human nature it's quite possible the original inhabitant before them had to swim south from there, so the Tiera de Feugan's might just be the next tribe to lose.

    I only say a brief news item expat, a few weeks ago, and the group were, I think, trying to get the Norwegian government to pay 60,000 silver shillings or whatever. But it's too late see; the Euro's come in hasn't it?

    Now, I (with Bowler hat, umbrella optional) am going to eat. Roast Beef of course.

  • Simon
    Simon

    I love how people 'discovered' all these places ... even though there were usually people already living there!

  • Imbue
    Imbue

    What do you think will become of this suit? Are you saying the peoples on the islands want to go with Norway? Sometimes your accent is hard to understand.

    In NYC there is a Dutch family suing Trinity Church for it's land back. They hold the Title from the 1700s and the land was only leased to the church for 100 yrs and forgotten. The land in question is a sizable portion of midtown Manhattan. The Trinity Church has been making money off this property all this time. Do you think they could also sue for all the back lease money they've made for the last 200 years? It was interesting to find out that the Trinity Church is so wealthy.

    Crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

  • 2SYN
    2SYN

    Isn't it odd how those Indians didn't like it when a bunch of guys wearing smelly clothes and with bad teeh, and driving around in cloth-covered wagons tried to take over their entire continent? Damn, but they were backward, those d0oDz.


    "...the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing" - The Golden Age
    [SYN], UADA
    - Unseen Apostate Directorate of Africa.

  • 2SYN
    2SYN

    Well they did sell the entire frikking island of Manhattan for a bunch of glass beads, as history tells us. Smart.


    "...the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing" - The Golden Age
    [SYN], UADA
    - Unseen Apostate Directorate of Africa.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    Is it true that France has already surrendered?

    We should keep in mind who controls the world's supply of Ludefisk and not mess with these boys!

    - Nathan Natas, UADNA
    (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America)

  • expatbrit
    expatbrit

    60,000 silver shillings? BAH!!

    Where's my I'm-to-sexy-for-my-ledgers accountant's calculator? Here we go....60,000 multiplied by inflation over 1,200 years.....add a factor for compensation to my part of the country for all the pillaging, raping, sacking, carousing, quaffing, blood-eagles and starting rival discussion boards, and you come up with......

    9,879,874,985,789,475,947,489,574,857,485,748,578,373,342,475 pounds. Good solid sterling ones, too!

    Let's see the cash Halfanut Eggphroth!

    Expatbrit

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