still feeling the guilt.

by sleepy 5 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  sleepy

  Still feeling the guilt.
  Why?

  I havent done enought.
  But I feel my hands are tied.
  I could write to friends, call them go to the hall and make a speech,or go to assembly grounds, hand out leaflets.
  But if I do any of that I will be disfellowshipped.
  Then no one will talk to me even my family will have problems.
  But if i don't do something now what good is my current standing with the witnesses, whats the point in being able to talk to them if I don't use it to any effect?

  Do I just sod it all ,write a load of letters , even go to the hall I put my hand up and say what I really think?
  Or wait a while, maybe some one with doubts will ask me something , thinking he can do so because I'm still classed as a witness (hell for all I know I'm still a MS even though I havent been for over 6 months no ones told me otherwise)?
• 

  JBean

  Sleepy... you are not alone. There are plenty of us here (lurkers too, I'm sure) that still feel as you do. I've been asking myself the "what do I do" question for many months now. The answer I've given myself is... "take my time, take care of myself emotionally and physically, and with lots of prayer, God will help me find my way." Hope this helps a bit... Jbean (PS: It stinks, doesn't it, that you're a MS, haven't been seen for a while, and no one gives you a call?!)
• 

  flower

  I dont think you need to do any of that. If I were in your shoes I think I would concentrate on planting little seeds of truth in your family members and/or friends ears. How receptive are they to hearing what you have learned? Do they know about the UN thing? Show them some of the double talk and ask them some tough questions about it. If they start thinking you are trying to cause trouble then just say you are having trouble believing yourself and need someone to show you the answers before you go back.

  It can take a while but as long as you are still an active member it may be possible to show your family the truth. Maybe eventually you can get them to read C of C or another book and show them things theyve never seen before about the org.

  good luck, & dont feel guilty

  flower
• 

  doinmypart

  Sleepy, I have similar feelings. I'm trying to determine what to do, how to tread in my current situation. I like what JBean said "take my time, take care of myself emotionally and physically, and with lots of prayer", seems to be good advice.
• 

  new boy

  sleepy--------I to thought I could do some good by staying in though I knew since 1992, it was wrong. It took 9 years to leave. maybe I did help a few, but staying in was making me physically sick! I feel great now! At what cost are you willing to pay?
• 

  BluesBrother

  I too am inactive, in Britain andi would love to broadcast what I now know to old friends, relatives , and especially the lad that I "Brought into the Truth".. The reason that I don't is for the benefit of my wife and the harm it would cause her. How long this can continue I don't know.

  It is reprehensible that your elders allow a Ministerial Servant to just disappear, but elders seem to be like that these days. I have got away with it for years despite some attendance at meetings. I am starting now to have dialogue with one of them , we will see what happens.

  Take care, think it through but follow your heart.