How do you cope? I don't even vaguely remember. I've been browsing through some more PLN threads, and they all have one aspect in common - they are so EMPTY. That's the best way I can describe it...people type stuff into the little CGI forms, post it, but nothing ever really gets said there. So far I haven't seen a single flame war, a single vociferous post, a single argument. They're all in agreement.
It's almost like someone's running a script proggie to generate the posts, and the proggie is just randomly selecting words like "Jehovah", "Brother", and "Enlightenment" and making posts up. There's no DEPTH.
But then, life is very peaceful if you are a mental neuter.
Why would you want to strive for the supposed 'priveledge'(SP?) of carrying around a microphone? And then only if you were a man anyway? It must be frightfully boring being a woman in the BOrganization, knowing that you can never be more than a chief-gossip monger at best, or just a lowly dishcloth-attired old pioneer woman at worst.
I still remember the enormous sense of loneliness I felt when I was still in the BORG...it was like someone was pulling a fishhook through my medulla oblangata continously while I was at the meetings. I had memorised virtually every Watchtower study, didn't even need to look at the magazine/book to give amazing, intelligent answers (for a Dub), cite Bible verses, the whole tootie, but I was empty inside. There was nothing really happening inside my mind.
I was dying of a massive internal IQ loss.
Being a Dub is an experience that I wouldn't wish on anyone. You are so convinced that you are right, that there is no other possibility, even when your most basic beliefs seem like incredibly ludicrous fairy tales. You want to believe - and in my case I wanted to believe purely to please my parents. That's what it usually comes down to - who you wanna please. Most people want to please someone, and for me it was my folks.
Every time somebody challenges your notions, your automated anti-World gear kicks in and you start spouting theology endlessly, usually battering down anyone who doesn't have the astonishing amount of Biblical training you do fairly easily. When you do meet someone who is actually half-way intelligent and learned in such things, you dismiss everything they say as useless, since they are 'Wordly'. Thus, your mind neatly rejects anything that might disturb your cherished world view.
Contrast PLN to THIS site. Here we regularly have giant flame wars (such as the last one, which was quite hectic). Here we aren't afraid to lambast someone for saying something dumb - but on the other hand, we are also not afraid to truly show support for one another. Sure, we get people who attack the board and try to lure us into useless troll feeding orgies, but they usually burn out pretty soon. People on this board tend to be more jaded and wiser than most other boards I've chatted on on the Internet.
This is a good thing. This board is as addictive as crack cocaine, and I'm sorry I didn't find it years ago. It would have been so handy.
Just my 0.02$.
"...the greater will be the beneficial effect, because you get more of the ultra-violet rays, which are healing" - The Golden Age
[SYN], UADA - Unseen Apostate Directorate of Africa.