Shunned from Sister's wedding reception PART 2

by Quotes 9 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    Just to keep you up-to-date on my not being invited to my sister's wedding reception.

    (In case you missed PART 1, check out http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=23578&site=3 )

    In response to the letter I received from my sister (which explained why I could not be invited to the reception) I sent the following email reply. (Again, the names have been changed)

    Hi R*****,

    I received your letter, and I know it was very difficult for you to write. I could be wrong, but I got the feeling that you had been told that I could not be invited to the dinner/reception. If that is true, then perhaps you could present my case to whomever said I should not be present at the reception. And here is my case:

    I am confused, because this action is not in line with "present truth" on the subject. According to the most up-to-date information published by the Society on this subject: "Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned."

    This can be seen posted on the official Jehovah's Witnesses media website, please check out the following. DON'T PANIC, this is an *OFFICIAL* Jehovah's Witness website.

    Start at http://www.watchtower.org and then click on the "MEDIA" button on the bottom right had corner. This will take you to http://www.jw-media.org/.

    Next click on "BELEIFS" on the menu bar on the top, this will take you to http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/default.htm. Now click on FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS at the bottom of the page. You should now be at: http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm (of course, you could just jump straight there, but I wanted to prove that this was a legitimate, official Jehovah's Witnesses website).

    Now, the fourth item on this page is:

    ===========================
    Do you shun former members?
    Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned. In compliance with the Scriptures, however, members can be expelled for serious unchristian conduct, such as stealing, drunkenness, or adultery, if they do not repent and cease such actions. Disfellowshipping does not sever family ties. Disfellowshipped members may continue to attend religious services, and if they wish, they may receive pastoral visits. They are always welcome to return to the faith.—1 Corinthians 5:11-13. ===========================

    Yes, I have "ceased to be involved with the faith", but according to this up-to-date information, I am not to be shunned.

    Furthermore, according to this, even the case of Disfellowshipping (which is *NOT* my case) "does not sever family ties" -- and surely being part of a family gathering like a wedding celebration would be part of normal "family ties". However, I digress. The point is, "Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned."

    Please, *PLEASE* reconsider this situation, I would love to be part of the reception.

    Also, I would feel rather unusual if I was part of the photographs, but not part of the reception. It would be as if you are saying "Oh sure, we'll tolerate your presence long enough to make things look good for the photographs, the permanent record, "keeping up appearances"; but once we're done to photos "You're the weakest link... Good Bye". It would just seem pretty weird, but that's just my opinion.

    Anyhow, if you want, please talk to whomever you have to talk to, in light of the Society saying "Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned.".

    Lots of love,

    ~P****

    I was really hoping that this would give her the ammo to allow her to invite me. Apparently, I was wrong. Here is her response:

    Am I wrong in my understanding that you wrote a formal letter to the
    society, disassociating yourself from the congregation, if I am just say so.

    However if you did, you were rejecting the organization.
    No one ever said that I could not or must not invite you. Only that if you did disassociate yourself (not just fall inactive, or nonpractising) then I would have to tell each person that a dissasociated person would be at the reception, and then they have a right not to come. Especially since the scriptures tell us not to even eat with a person who rejects Jehovah and his organization.

    As to family ties, you know very well that they have not been cut. We keep in touch, you have not been ostracized.

    Besides, the most important part, in my honest opinion, is the ceremony. Two people are joined before Jehovah to be partners for life. I didn't even want a wedding, I want a wedding and huge reception, that just comes with marrying a European. That is why I would like you there. But in the end, it is your perrogative.

    As you can see, it is not a matter of pleading any case, or else I should in a second. If you have disassociated yourself, not just become inactive, this is the course that the scriptures tell me I must follow out of love for Jehovah.

    If I am wrong and mistaken in the steps you have taken, just tell me. Love R*****.

    Any advice from you guys & gals would be most appreciated

    For the record. I did not write a formal letter. I tried to slip away, but was tried for apostasy, and and the end of the meeting told the elders that I didn't want to have anything to do with them anymore. They asked me submit a letter, but I felt I was already out and was not about to follow anymore of their rules, including the rules about how *NOT* to be a member.

    Again, your input is appreciated.

    ===========================
    For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
    http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

  • Scully
    Scully

    Ok, you can honestly tell your sister that you DID NOT write a letter of disassociation.

    You can tell her that if this is what she has heard, then she has been misinformed (lied to?) by her "loving brothers" in the organization.

    She can even go to the Body of Elders and request to see whether or not a letter was received from you stating that you wished to be disassociated. You stated to them that you wished for THEM (the elders) to leave you alone. IMO, they were harassing you, making accusations, whereas you just wished to mind your own business and quietly lead your life away from the JWs.

    It might be an interesting exchange between her and your dad too; you indicated on the previous thread that your dad and brothers would ask you to leave a private party....

    I'm finding it humourous how she's rationalizing the information on the website as being "correct", yet still not GETTING THE POINT that she is practicing shunning.

    Man, I sure don't envy you guys!!

    Love, Scully
    UADNA-C (Unseen Apostate Directorate of North America-Canada)

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    Thanks Scully, I'm way ahead of you. While you were typing in your reply here, I was typing the following email response to my sister:

    Uuummmmm.... *NO*

    I did not write any letter to The Society, or the elder's.

    However, I'm not sure what difference that would make either way, again the official word is "Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned." which does *NOT* add the qualifier 'however, those who write letters to advise they are no longer involved with the faith will be shunned.' But it doesn't matter either way, as I did not write a letter.

    Who told you that I wrote a letter? I would like to talk to that person and explain to them that they are incorrect, mistaken, etc. and warn them that they should not be "spreading gossip" which as we know, it not advised in the scriptures. I would really like to know who this was. But I digress.

    The bottom line is "I did not write a letter". I hope that helps clarify things.

    I love you kiddo, no matter what. Sorry if I sound cross, but it is frustrating when I keep hearing all kind of lies about myself.

    HUGS & KISSES

    ~P****

    (edited to remove my name from email)
    ===========================
    For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
    http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com
  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    Watchtower double-speak at it's finest.

    You specifically showed her the information from the Organization's OWN website stating that:

    "Those who simply cease to be involved in the faith are not shunned."
    Now if I were you, I would make this point.

    A person who is disfellowshipped is tried by a judicial committee and deemed a danger to the flock. Whereas a person who has disassociated themselves VOLUNTARILY CHOOSES to CEASE being INVOLVED in the FAITH (religion); you were not kicked out, you left of your own accord.

    You ceased to be involved in the faith, not because you turned your back on God, but because you had disagreements with men.

    In fact, on that same media website:

    http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm

    You'll note on the 8th topic that they specifically state

    Do you believe that you are the only ones who will be saved?
    No.
    Many millions who have lived in centuries past and who were not Jehovah's Witnesses will come back in a resurrection and have an opportunity for life. Many now living may yet take a stand for truth and righteousness before God's time of judgment, and they will gain salvation. Moreover, Jesus said that we should not be judging one another. Humans look at the outward appearance; God looks at the heart. He sees accurately and judges mercifully. God has committed judgment into Jesus' hands, not ours. —Matthew 7:1-5; John 5:22, 27.

    [Bold mine for emphasis to points in this discussion]

    Compounding this factual information taken from their own literature with the fact you werent even "formally disassociated". They are in fact not applying Bible principle because they are gossipping, slandering, and diving your family. Genuine Christian love dont you think?

    Points to ponder.

    Does she now not apply doctrine and practice handed down directly from Brooklyn Bethel? Or is it much easier for them to only apply their beliefs when it suits their interest?

    PERSONAL WEBPAGE-
    http://www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/Jason1.html
    FREELANCE ARTWORK FOR SALE-
    http://www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/JasonArtwork1.html

  • detective
    detective

    The scriptures make no reference to "his organization". If she would like to point to a scripture that defines apostasy as rejecting anything more than Jehovah, I'd certainly like to know about it. As far as I know, the scriptures only link apostasy to turning away from god. If you have not turned away from god then you cannot scripturally be considered an apostate.

    This is quite a sad situation. Your sister isn't even addressing your points about the photos. Personally, I wouldn't be in the photos as it's shaping up to be nothing more than a sham and a lie. I would view it as simply putting on things for appearances sake.

    It's possible that I would participate because ultimately I'm a softie but my advice right now is to avoid the pictures. I feel very badly that you have to go through this. My heart really breaks for people dealing with this kind of stuff.

    I'm sorry you are in such a tough spot.

  • Reborn2002
    Reborn2002

    Now that Ive made my post regarding literature and facts, on an emotional level I would like to say I feel genuine sadness and heartache for you, and that I can relate to how you feel.

    I was not invited to my any type of gathering for the birth of my 1 yr old nephew, and I have been shunned and avoided entirely by them. My father was not even allowed to go to my brother's wedding because he is DA.

    Truly sickening creatures the JW's can be.

    Best wishes to you friend. I will be a listening ear should you ever need someone to talk to.

    PERSONAL WEBPAGE-
    http://www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/Jason1.html
    FREELANCE ARTWORK FOR SALE-
    http://www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/JasonArtwork1.html

  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    Wow Quotes this is getting good and the plot thickens. That was brilliant your showing her from the Watchtower that those who cease to be involved are not to be shunned. What can she say? According to their writings you have every right to be at the wedding and you are not to be shunned. Oh, joy! Well I hope that you go and have a wonderful time. If I were you I'd make sure to put myself in every picture and be very conspicious. She is after all your sister and you could probably make a very elaborate toast. Anyway, that's just me.

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    Reborn, detective, Dutchie, thanks for your input.

    Right at this second I'm not feeling sad as much as I'm feeling *ANGRY*. Not angry at my sister (and the rest of my family) but anger at that freaking pious publishing machine that is ruining her life.

    I'm not a violent person, I don't think I've ever been in a real fight, but if I ever found myself in a Judicial Committee lockdown room again, I honestly think I would leave the room with only one thing on my mind:

    "Where am I going to stack the bodies?.... hhhmmmm.... one or two I can dispose of... but four????? I can't even get all of them into the trunk of my car."
    OK, now I feel better.

    ===========================
    For interesting Watchtower Society literature quotes, complete with references but without any editorial, check out:
    http://Quotes.JehovahsWitnesses.com

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    Quotes, I am really sorry for you. I can't imagine the pain of being shut out like that. And for her to ignore your pleas...I wish she had called you and made a verbal effort to explain her position.

    You really let her know you love her and want to be a part of her life. You opened youself up to be hit, emotionally. That is really big of you.

    I just want to give you a verbal hug....

    {{{{{{Quotes}}}}}}
    Tina AKA puffs

  • out4good3
    out4good3

    Her answer is a classic case of WT doubletalk. Just another case of a dub trying to have their cake and eat it to at another person's expense.

    It's a shame that she's equating the WT organization with God himself.

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