Here is a journal entry I made in August 2011 when I first started waking up...
I finally think I can admit my feelings in writing today. Maybe I should blame it on being a pessimist, maybe it's the truth. As I'm writing this I've got a few tears in my eyes. Even though I hate feeling this way, I have no where to turn. Here goes:
1. For the last year I have realizedi want a family
2. If I have children I don't want to raise them witnesses
3. I don't really believe what the society teaches
4. I can't leave, if I did I would loose my family andfriends
5. Bethel is slave labor, I don't like working
i have been journal writing at least monthly for the last 16 years. I find it quite therapeutic.