by perfect1 2 Replies latest jw friends
There are many stories on JWN about the heartbreak of losing ones family to the WTBTS. But after a few years out, people do seem to get their lives back.
I was wondering if anyone wants to share about finding happiness once outside the org- how has you life improved or been enriched by starting over?
What do you cherish the most that would have been impossible, not allowed, or unthinkable as a JW?
For me I think it would be the incredible friendships Ive had.
Y'know for me sad as this sound's it's the ability to make decision's, choice's I want in my life, I know so many go on about intellectual laziness, but for me it was out of loyalty to Jehovah-So I thought_that stopped me researching, clarifying, or even initiating conversation's that would of been looked at as murmering. I always had in my mind how would Jehovah want me to deal with this and in turn it was not Jehovah per se, but really underlyingly and not even conciously, it was how does the Governing Body TELL me to deal with this... yes it's hard to admit I was that much of a drone, specially when people not in the org would say but what do you really think? and I would stupidly say, well it's not what I think that matter's it's what Jehovah think's- it's bloody amazing I still have mate's to be honest, but after I came out/woke up many of them talked about the "tiger in the room" and about how they could not relate what a stong person I was in so many way's but would fold like a deck of cards when questioned in regard to religion,I was very emotional, now I realise it's because I never really connected with the belief's, I just thought It was the right, and humble and the meek thing to do.
Also I used to get very down,I actually thought one day I will end up taking my own life, I thought since Jah read heart's he would understand,I was always worried about that friggin armegheddon, ohhh is it today, something on the new's -Oh no it's all starting, far out no wonder I ended up with a thyroid virus and on blood pressure pill's, these day's I feel sooo bloody thank ful to be alive and enjoying life, my husband say's it's like being married to a new woman(wishful thinking) but I know how he feel's because I feel like I got a huge cancerous growth lopped off me, Life truly is -how you look at it, nowaday's my mental door is opening up to receive not only positivity, but also stimulation to thing's once advised against, I have a new job, once I would not of taken because of their sexual inclination's and it's the best job I have had in year's,everyone is happy there and get's along and really promote's team spirit, I can honestly say I am excited about life nowaday's and do not regret or miss anything from the Kingdom Hall, sure my mum's wiped me, but that started long before my awakening-it was more personal and had been that way since I was a child -I had to come to term's with that.
These Day's I am soooo bloody thankful for my life, and the one's I share it with. It's a complete 180*!!!
Ammo: thats an amazing story, I am really glad you are out of the dark place where you considered drastic action, and are seeing the good in your life.
