How to create a new social life

by Wide Awake! 8 Replies latest jw friends

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  Wide Awake!

  Hi. I'm new here. I grew up as a witness, but it's been a few years since I've been to a meeting.

  I'm having trouble being social and making new friends. I've moved away from the town that I grew up in (about 45 minutes away) and, although I'm not DF'ed, I've lost track of my old friends after they found out I wasn't attending anymore. You guys know how it is.

  I'm self-employed, extremely introverted, and have kind of isolated myself for a while. This has been good for me in a way because I've been able to get to know myself. One of the reasons that I quit going to meetings was because I realized that I was doing it for other people, they expected it from me, rather than going because I wanted to. Isolating myself has helped to figure out what I want to do- not doing what others want me to do.

  Right now I have a few friends and most are married. I've even thought about going back because of the instant social life, but I know there's no way I could ever do it now that my eyes are wide open.

  So what have you guys done? How did you get started meeting people?
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  unstopableravens

  hey i am about send in my da letter thats why i was asking who lived close to maryland so i can meet new people i have non witness friends but im going to lose alot of people when i send in my letter
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  finally awake

  I suppose the easiest thing is to join an organization whose works you want to support, like maybe Habitat for Humanity, or the Chamber of Commerce, or volunteer at homeless shelter. You'll meet people with similar values and make friends in the process.
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  Hortensia

  I'm self-employed, extremely introverted, and have kind of isolated myself for a while.

  I agree that joining some group that interests you or that you want to support is the way to go. It gives you a reason to get out of the house and meet people. I went to trade school as I was fading, and met lots of people, made some good friends. Then I started a business and met lots of people through that business, had a lot of fun.

  Now I'm retired and I moved 700 miles away from my friends, so I'm more isolated. However, I don't mind, and I'm gradually making friends in the new area.
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  Satanus

  I developed some friends where i worked. Another thing, you can just strike up conversations, where ever you are, on the bus, shopping, etc. Just relax and go w your gut. It might not get you regular friends right away, but it keeps you in a more outgoing mode and practices your social skills. As mentioned, if you are still able to join something, do volunteer type work, soup kitchen, nature work, animal shelter, for instance.

  S
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  LisaRose

  There are as many ways to meet people as there are people. I am somewhat introverted also so I know how that makes it hard to connect. I was in this situation recently, not because I left the JWs, but because I moved to a different state. I have health issues, so I cant work full time and meet people that way. I volunteered for a few things, and I met some people that way. We have a neighborhood pub and so we met quite a few people that way, its a Cheers kind of place, everyone knows your name, and hugs are freely given (and sometimes free drinks!) And I have one good friend I met standing in line at a store.

  The important thing to remember when meeting people is to ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. Just make sure its not too personnel. Before you attend any gathering, practice a few conversation starters, so it feels natural. My husband has a great curiosity about everyone, and we have met many nice people that way. A few people ignore him (which would make me die of embarrassment) but it doesn't seem to bother him. We met a couple at a pub in Cheltenham, England and ended up staying with them for part of the trip. Look for any opportunity to strike up a conversation with anyone. That older woman at the post office could have a drop dead georgeous daughter, you never ono.
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  AudeSapere
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  clear

  If you live in a big city? you have many options, such as volunteering for most anything.

  Or join a "meetup" online, of your favorite hobby or interest.

  If you are looking to go out with and meet people of the opposite sex then go out to live rock bands, the hot dance clubs or learn some social dancing, "swing, rockabilly,country or whatever".

  If you live in a small town, then visit the next towns that have things that are going on? "bowling terminates, church activities, gun clubs, cattle tipping, making crop circles, HAHA HEHE. just kidding but go out and do somthing. As niki shoes says, JUST DO IT...
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  happy@last

  As you are self-employed have a look for business networking meetings, where I am they have them morning, noon and night! Some might be a bit daunting if you are introvert, but many are quite informal.

  Perhaps spend time chatting with your new neighbours, or join a club for a hobby.

  I've found listening to people first before telling them anything about yourself is good, people love to tell you their story, and for every so many people you'll meet you may just click with one or two and become good friends over time.

  I do not have a problem talking to people, but I do have a trust issue, I trust no-one except one true friend I have, out of the thousands of people I have met, I am content with having just the one true friend, but I still meet up with lots of other people.