Ten commandments for religious followers

by Simon 4 Replies latest jw friends

  • Simon
    Simon

    1. Thou shalt shut thy gob when politely asked, and not drone on endlessly.

    2. Thou shalt not use circular arguments, such as "God exists, because the Bible sayeth so, and the Bible is True because it is God's Word."

    3. Thou shalt notice when thy audience is bored rigid. See Commandment 1.

    4. Thou shalt not use a cop-out such as "God worketh in mysterious ways" when backed into a corner by thine own convoluted logic.

    5. Thou shalt use thine own imagination, and not just quote from the Bible all the time.

    6. Thou shalt not tell atheists what they believe, nor that thy God loveth them.

    7. Thou shalt not get upset by jokes about thy God. He is big enough and old enough to looketh after himself.

    8. Thou shalt not define how thy God worketh. Thou canst not know.

    9. Thou shalt not state that the Bible is consistent and hath no contradictions. Thou wouldst be a fool to doeth so.

    10. Thou shalt not say Grace without also thanking the farmers, truck-drivers and shopkeepers that actually did the work required to get your food to the table.

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy

    LOL Simon
    I would like to appalogize for breakething thy commandments and especially as ofteneth as I doeth.
    I promise I will discontinue my rampideth qoutations from all Holy Books.
    .
    .
    .
    P.S. no offense to those who actually do have a thousand and one verses. I actually cut and paste some.

    "I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
    Some happy,some sad"
    styx

    This one most definitely Happy
  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    Funny! Nos. 7 and 10 are my favorites!

  • SUSCARRA
    SUSCARRA

    The scriptures are sometimes like an appliance warranty. Why?

    Because the large print giveth, but the small print taketh away.

    SUSCARRA

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    Carmeleth thinketh that "religious" meaneth moreth than bible thumpething!

    carmeleth

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