Sorry folks, no laser pointer and cherry picker to wheel around like Al Gore....
For those that keep up with the Cagefighter show you will know a couple of things have been perculating in my mind lately. First, I discovered Matthew 27:52 (the much downplayed zombie apocalypse raid of Jerusalem as I call it now). I have always been able to buy the Gospels for some reason up to the resurrection. There it got a little hard to believe sometimes, but it was an act of faith so, what the hell I thought. The Theological implications of the ressurection filled in the gaps that my intellect could not fill.
However, the thought that immediately after the crucifixtion a bunch of dead people rose up and freaked everyone in Jerusalem out AND there wasn't anything more said about this than a couple of lines in Matthew's gospel was too much for me. If something so unbelievable and irrevokable proof that Jesus was who they claim he is, certainly Paul and the other writers of the bible would have used this fact every chance they had, yet they don't. In fact, I can't think of any place where it is even mentioned in the bible besides this one obscure verse. It certainly is never brought up in church or at the KH and has never been a part of the Easter/Memorial story. Hmmmm......
Furthermore, Matthew is often thought of as the "gospel to the Jews" in theological circles. Matthew's gospel was supposed to make the argument to those looking for fullfillment of Old Testament prophecy as proof. Apparently this verse covers a prophecy in Daniel referring to a resurrection of the saints/annointed one. Sound familiar? Yeah, I smelled a rat real quick. Who ever wrote/edited Matthew would have done good at the WT writing department. It seemed apparent that this zombie raid was an add-on thrown in there to make it fit, not a recount of an actual event.
So if I had to accept that the gospels are not accurate accounts of the life and times of Jesus, I had to begin to accept a lot of other things. To sum it up, I had to accept the bible is a work of man, not God. It isn't even necessarily "inspired" by God with some human error, it is just plain ol let's make this fit our argument and not the other way around. So I began to research the other gospels like Thomas, Judas, Phillip, and it seemed like everyone had their own take on Jesus. I can understand that some would highlight different things about Jesus, but the other gospels go beyond that. They appear to be just as sincere accounts of Jesus as the other but differ greatly. Some claim Peter was not the favorite and rather the church was left up to Mary Magdalene. Hmm I wonder why that would not set well with some old Jewish guys in the mid-east 2,000 years ago. Other's inferr that Judas might have been asked to turn over Jesus to the authorities...which would make Jesus a cult leader with a psychological need to have a melodramatic show down in order to bring closure (i.e. David Koresh, Jim Jones, Marshall Applewhite).
It really got to be a full blown crisis of faith when I learned about Hippolytus and his refutation of all heresies where he acknowledges over 20 other gospels (many never found to this day) and argues against them except Matthew, Mark, Luke and John of course. At this point, it became apparent to me that my concept of Jesus was shaped not by the accurate truth, but rather the very human actions of those that finally wrote the story down some 30-70 years after the death of Christ and the story being repeated orally. Then again over the next two and a half centuries it undoubtedly becomes edited more and more until it fits somethng in the ballpark of current docterine.
Existential Crisis......engaged!
So for the last couple of weeks, let's say my mind has been "fuc#ed". I have wondered who I am, what I am doing, and why for way too much of my waking day until I finally snapped out of it. Here is the clincher, I am a former JW (inoculated to fundamentalism) that takes a pretty "liberal" view of the Bible and God to begin with.
My crisis was the most inconvient thing I have experienced in a long time. It called into to question the point of many things in my life. Obviously, I had to decide if going to my very laid back and liberal methodist church was even worth getting up out of bed. I enjoy my friends and the good advice the sermons offer for my life. We don't really get too scriptural or far into the bible most of the time. We also do a lot of volunteer projects, networking, sports leagues, pot lucks, and all that fun stuff.
I some how managed to hack my way through the crisis of faith and identity and I am on the other side now and feeling better. However, if this was so hard for me... how much harder would this be for a JW that has been in for the last 30 or 40 years. It's not normal for people to seek trouble or disruptions in their life, unless you are me I guess. I realized that for people like my parents it is easier to believe than it is not to believe or even doubt at this point in life. The existential crisis that would be created is scary and full of uncertainty. When we ask a JW to look at the Truth about the Truth when must remember: We are not asking then to question some poorly written theological argument by a magazine publishing cult, rather we are asking them to question their own identity, the meaning and purpose of their whole life. Scary stuff.....