Brothers Left Me To Foot Bill For Mum's Funeral.
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/brothers-left-me-to-foot-bill-for-mums-1477162
Bangalore
Brothers Left Me To Foot Bill For Mum's Funeral
by Bangalore 3 Replies latest jw friends
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Bangalore
</form>Brothers left me to foot bill for mum's funeral
A WOMAN has fallen out with both her brothers after they refused to chip in to pay for their mother's funeral.
Dear Coleen,
I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness but when I was 38 I met my first husband and left the religion. I was happy but my brothers and sisters didn’t want much to do with me. My mother always accepted me though.
My husband died of cancer in 2005. I met my current husband two years later and we got married.
Sadly, my mother passed away in April. My two sisters didn’t even come to the funeral but my two brothers were there.
My niece, who is in her 20s, came up to speak to me at the funeral. I told her my mother would have preferred us to have been close when she was alive.
Mum hadn’t seen my niece for 15 years, which must have been devastating for her. When my husband and I got the bill for the funeral, I got in touch with my brothers but they didn’t want anything to do with it.
One of them, who’s a Jehovah’s Witness, said he couldn’t afford to pay for any of it and even accused me of stealing my mother’s money.
He said I only visited her out of a sense of duty. My other brother made the excuse that I was nasty to his daughter.
Basically, neither of them wanted to cough up, despite the fact that I’m not working because of a disability and my husband is a pensioner.
I have a wonderful aunt who has been like a rock and stood by us, so we’re coping. But I don’t know what to do about the rest of my family, who I think are taking advantage of me.
Coleen says..
Families, eh? If I were you, I’d leave things as they are and take solace in the fact that you did everything for your mum. It sounds as if your brothers feel guilty about not being there for your mum and their defence mechanism is to turn on you.
They’re the ones who’ll have to live with their decisions.
But now your mum’s gone, you don’t have to be part of their lives. You can either carry on the feud or put a line under it and focus on your own family.
I know having to pay for the funeral is unfair but you might have to accept it.
You could send an email or a letter to the whole family about the funeral, saying that any donations to help pay for it would be welcome.
If they’re still not forthcoming, there’s not much you can do. You’ll have peace of mind when you put it behind you. Your future might not include your siblings but it’s sadder for a row to blight your life for years to come.
Bangalore
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rebel8
This story is confusing. Who made the funeral arrangements? That's who should pay for it. Kinda like going shopping and then sending the bill to someone else.
Yes, there are some obligatory bills that someone must pay--usually the minimum is just getting a funeral director to pick up the body + dispose of it (cremation or burial). It sounds like there were services in this case, which cost money--who made the arrangements?
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The Searcher
Not a very constructive answer from Coleen, given the problem which needed solving.
The problem was not the religious beliefs of the other relatives, it was who was responsible for the funeral expenses, and as far as the letter-writer was concerned, she will not liable for any relatives funeral costs due to the fact that she is most probably on benefits.
As such, the authorities will pursue the next closest living relative who has an income, and compel them to pay.
Unless of course such a relative can prove that they were estranged from the deceased for a considerable period of time.
