For me:
1 wife
1 trueborn son
1 stepdaughter
6 different jobs
Deceased:
Great-grandmother
Great aunt
Cousin
Grandfather (on mom's side)
Grandmother (on dad's side, murdered by grandfather in early '60s, dad probably saw it happen)
Low points:
Attempted suicide in 1998 over rejection by girl
Dated only 3 women, one of whom I never met in person, the other two were in two separate cults
Becoming a walking ATM to a chronically unemployed woman, then losing my virginity to her at the age of 26
Sleeping with my ex-girlfriend, then marrying her and linking myself to the cult forever
Disfellowshipped in 2010 after wife read my e-mail
Threw away 'Avatar' on Blu-ray after 'Avatar incident' with wife finding a scene offensive
Elder gave us reclining chair, with instructions that I was not allowed to sit in it (Reclining Chair incident)
Wife read my journal, tore pages out of it, threw wedding ring in my face
Separated from wife in 2011; reunited one month later
Wasting hours of my life on Transformers 2-3, 'The Time Machine' with Guy Pearce, 'Lockout' (again with Guy Pearce), most of 'Lost' without ever seeing the finale which will probably be a letdown, and lots of '80s cartoons that, as it turns out, are quite boring.
High Points:
Seeing the birth of my son
Really good sex with my wife, back when we were doin' that
Star Wars
Batman
Star Trek
Battlestar Galactica
Comic books
Nintendo in all its forms
Nintendo Power magazine (R.I.P.)
The Hunger Games
Discovering freedom of mind for the first time
Reading tons of books
Amazon Kindle
Going to movies by myself
Discovering I could Google an actress's name and find pictures of her
Natalie Portman--my gateway drug to Internet porn
Winning a TV in a spelling bee
Getting a VCR
Having 10 movies and watching them 50 times (Here's lookin' at you 'Unbreakable', 'The Mummy Returns', 'Pokemon 2000: The Movie', 'Star Wars Trilogy: Special Edition', Star Wars: Episodes I-II, and 'Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker')
Having a heck of a lot more than 10 movies and never being able to watch them all--even better
Joining forces with my archnemesis Christoph and fighting the Watchtower at the Battle of the High Command
...Aw, yeah. TMI, baby. Way TMI...
--sd-7