Dangerous Promises

by joelbear 23 years ago 8 Replies latest 23 years ago jw friends

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  joelbear 23 years ago

  Can someone raised as a Jehovah's Witness ever successfully deal with reality? I am beginning to wonder if it is possible, at least for me.

  I was raised to believe I would never grow old. I was raised to believe that I would not have to work and make a living for myself. I never gave consideration to having to prepare myself for dealing with the aches and pains that growing up and old would bring.

  By now I was supposed to be in paradise, eating apples and having fun with all my friends.

  A major difference between the "paradise earth" promise and the "heaven" promise made by most religions is that most religions offer the reward as a post death situation. Other religions teach that suffering in this life is a build up to the good life after death.

  Not so with witnesses who raise their children to believe that life should be put on hold. They are taught that this life is not the real life.

  Now at 44, I am still growing up, trying to get a grasp on the fact that I do indeed have to solve my problems myself.

  This disjunction between the surreal world of child witness life and the real world of adulthood is a dangerous and lonely plain to find oneself on.

  Joel

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  LDH 23 years ago

  AMEN brother, amen.

  By now I was supposed to be in paradise, eating apples and having fun with all my friends.

  Although I'm not currently working (baby), I'm starting to get obsessed with getting back to work so I can continue to save for College for my kids/care for my parents WHEN they get old, not if they get old.

  It's crazy Joel, I feel like that song that says "Here I am stuck in the middle".

  I'm sandwiched between seeing that my children get the best life possible and caring for my responsibilities at home. Then when I get my two off to college it will be time to care for my parents. My Dad is no dum-dum so I know he has sufficient retirement savings, but just for the sake of argument I looked into an apartment community/Assisted Living facility last week. You know how much? $2,500 month for the minimal program.

  I think this means I will NEVER get to fully explore WHO LISA IS.

  Yep, I got the shaft. Just imagine Joel, we are two of MILLIONS.

  THANK GOD we got out when we did.

  Lisa

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  Valis 23 years ago

  joel, you forgot to mention the other approach..apathy.

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  finnrot 23 years ago

  Hi Joel,

  This is something that only people that were brought up J.W.s from birth can understand, if you became a Witness later on in life, you may think you can empathize, but beleive me you have no idea what Joel is talking about. I am 43 soon to be 44, so I know exactly what Joel feels inside, because I have the same experiences and "TRUTH" demons. You have to keep in mind that when Joel and I were children and then teenagers that you could cut the excitement about the impending Armageddon with a knife. We of that Witness generation were stunted educationally and emotionally, I'm sure it's bad now for witness children but at least they're not sitting around looking at the calander for a specific date for Armageddon, like us drones that were brought up in the '60s.

  LDH-- My mother is 70 and she just purchaced insurance that assures her that she will be 100% covered for home care if needed in the future.

  "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
  Terry Pratchett.

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  LDH 23 years ago

  Finn,

  I think that's great that your mom bought long term care coverage. I bought mine last year cause it's a HELL of a lot cheaper at 32 than it is at 70.

  My hubby (never JW) bought it the first year it came out, his premiums are something like $14/month, and the policy is paid for in a few years, I think.

  Yes, it is like turning a rusty wheel to do some things that Non-JW take for granted, don't you think?

  Lisa

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  finnrot 23 years ago

  Yes Lisa I agree about the rusty wheel analogy. Being that I was the geek in 1st grade on up, that didn't salute the flag and ran from the room like demons were shooting out of everybodys ass when a kid would bring in a ouija board. This made me the odd man out with the other kids and who could blame them, Witness kids are tought to be proud of being weirdos, it shows your dedication to Jehovah. Any way, my point being that even though I can socialize and get along with normal (non-J.W.) I can't seem to relate to people the way most other people do, you know what I mean? My fellow employees seem to love me at work, but I just don't quite fit in. It's something you can't fake, social skills are something you are supposed to learn from the 1st grade up, not being dragged door to door preaching the Good News. Blah

  "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
  Terry Pratchett.

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  2SYN 23 years ago

  Finnrot: Didn't I mention that Terry Pratchet quote somewhere originally? Or did you get it from one of his books? I think the book I'm thinking about is called 'Jingo', I'm busy reading it right now. His acid humour is spot on as usual...every second sentence makes me burst into loud braying laughter, which disturbs the ward sister who sits outside my door all the time to make sure I don't slit my wrists with the plastic knives they give us here in the mental ward.

  
  [SYN], UADA - Unseen Apostate Directorate of Africa - For Great Justice!

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  finnrot 23 years ago

  Hi 2SYN,

  I'm sorry you didn't get my first response to your question.
  I wanted a catchy profile sig. so I got on to Google and found the man on fire quote from Mr. Pratchett and thought it was hilarious.

  Now that I know he is a writer I will have to get some of his work.
  Thanks for the tip SYN.

  "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
  Terry Pratchett.

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  Introspection 23 years ago

  Can someone raised as a Jehovah's Witness ever successfully deal with reality? I am beginning to wonder if it is possible, at least for me.

  Well that's good, that you recognize that anything is just a possibility and judge only yourself. Bottom line is, we don't know do we? We don't know what's going to happen in our future, let alone what's going on with someone else, present or future.

  Of course, being able to relate is really something else. Nobody said it would be easy, but I figure if we want to compare, there's gotta be people who have a harder time than JWs, (yes, even those who were raised one) and some of them must have been able to overcome it. Don't mean to belittle your identity as an ex-JW, but I simply believe you're all more than that.

  Now this part may rub people the wrong way, but even if you think I should go get TP for my bunghole hear me out. Most people will renounce being a JW or whatever, but TRULY renouncing the identity and the behavior is not as simple as writing a letter or whatever. I'll just share one idea that I've found useful, and that is to renounce the need to be the star in your own movie. Now don't go thinking I'm judging the people who posted in this thread, I don't even know what's playing in your theater. But one of the points made about this idea is that it IS your movie, and your story, but you are just not seeing yourself as the main star. This may sound funny, but I think it's worth some consideration.

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