I have a sister-in-law that has hurt me deeply with her JW attitudes and decisions. She does not shun me or her brother but shuns one of our children. I am suffering from depression taking anti depressants to cope and I have fibromagiya with intensifies with stress. I have come to the conclusion that JWs often don't understand what their actions does to others. She has been asking other family members why we are cool to her. 65 years of this crap is earing me alive from the inside out. What is your opinion using Matt. 18 to let her know hw her actions are contributing to my health problems. Any ideas or suggstions. I want to be able to do this is a calm kind manner and have been waiting till MIL dies but I have decided my health and feeling are important too which is one of the things I always suppressed my feelings And hurts and kept everything inside.
thinking of using Matt. 18 with still in JW
by gma-tired2 5 Replies latest jw experiences
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zeb
Do you have a friends or interests? It sounds like this sis in law occupys an indecent amount of your life.
Gently i say to you..move on. By her hurting you and others gives her reason to live to prove how good/pure/righteous/obedient (pick your word) she is.
I am married to someone who our daughter ha said 'internalizes everything' and this to has caused a lot of hurt and her health is suffering on account of it.
Over the years she has issues she will not deal with and they have progessed if that is the right word into monsters. Dont keep thing in seek a counsellor or your doctor and listen to them listening to you.
lots of love and peace to you.
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ruderedhead
I don't see anything wrong with using that chapter, as long as it is done gently and with respect. I know she doesn't deserve your respect, esp. since she is shunning your child (what a pious snot she must be!) but sometimes we have to be the better person to get our point across. I feel for you that this person has hurt you so,and has done so for years. I have a similar situation with someone in my husbands family. I am able to avoid them most of the year, even though they live in the same subdivision as I. Is there any way you can avoid this toxic person most of the time? Your health has to come first so you can live the best possible life you can. After all these years of putting up with her garbage, don't you think you deserve it?
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gma-tired2
Thank you for your responses and I do pln to use Matt. 18 with her but I wznt to do it in a truly christian manner. I will writing out notes so I can keep to the points and not allow this to be a screaming match. I have tried to bury the hurt and anger and some of the consequences her action of the first incident did to her brother, nephew, and neice qnd myself. She actually told my son fiance that my husband and I were Apostates which was no way the truth at the time and 3 years ago she prevented my son from seeing his grandmother which he knew which probably the lasr time. She will think I am persecuting her for her religion . I am just tired of people causing damage within their family units. I will tell her after her last action her two great-neices response was Thank You for not raising us in that relgion I can't treat people that mean. But since her unmarried daughter is giving birth to her 4th out of wedlock child ths weekend (down syndrone) I will give her timie to adjust to this. But I have hid my tue feeling for such a long time I need ro exopressnmy feelings.
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Mum
Do you have a minister or other professional who can give you some pointers?
I agree that you need to cut down on the "internalizing" of this stuff. You are making this person more important than they deserve.
Regards,
SandraC
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gma-tired2
I did it. I had a hard time confronting her because I don't like hurting others, but the result of her action she had done deep damage to one of my children. She cried, denied she did it, then when I gave her info on her actionsnshe has now lost all memory, I assured her, her brother me, and our children rmembered and have had to live with the fallout for the last 18 years. If she had not chose to shun her nephew and led her grandmother to do same I would not havw confronted her. Her first action contributed to my child being so hurt and changed his life so dramatically that he would not have put himself in a position to be df'd. She handle this by typically running to the Elders. If they show up on our doorstep hubby says she will be hearing from him and he will have nothing nice or kind to say.. BTW he listened to everything I said to her and how it was said.