How many of you here became inactive and went back for the second time and then left for good?

blondie

I left and went back 2 times before this third time being the charm.

1) first I thought it was only certain individuals

2) second I thought it was only that congregation

3) I realized that it was everywhere, the lies and lack of love. 13 years and counting now, never going back even if a man named Jesus showed up at my door.

Honesty

I must not have had an honest heart.

One trip on the Crazy Train was all I could take.

was born in jw, never a zealot but just went because i didn't know any better, left for 10 years then was invited to study, went back, became a zealot, MS, now totally awake and on my way back out for good. no amount of restudy could ever get me back. i woke up due to deep grief and depression from death of family member. My brain snapped like a breaker was tripped after that i was suddenly very negative towards WT. Took a while to understand what went on in my brain but now thankful.

label licker

Was a born-in and had to leave home at fifteen, never knowing the religion that well. Just remembered the resurrection and wanted to know more about it since I had a brother who died at eleven. I was a year older than him when he fell down two stairs and cracked his head open. A year later he died at Sick Childrens Hospital. Almost thirty years later thought I would try it and saw everything Blondie saw but the final crunch was JW NET! Thank you ;)

Honeybucket

I had left two times, and I am on my way out and never to return again.

The first time I left and returned I came back because I was a young 18 year old that followed my heart and vagina. When my heart was brocken, I literally had no place to go. My witness grandmother told me that If I wanted to come stay with her, I needed to go back to meetings again. So I did, and I got into and made some friends. But then, being age 20, I started thinking with my vagina again. and i wanted to find love and get married. There was no dating pool in the area at all. All females. So then i left for about 7 years and wreaked complete chaos on my life. Getting into drugs and alcohol introduced by boyfriends. I had no self respect and I hated myself.

The Third time was in 2010. I had did a 2 week jail stint for my drunken debauchery (keyed a co-workers car after she slept with my boyfriend, shoulda keyed his car too) While i was in there, I had a glimpse of where my life was headed. There were so many people in there for heroin and meth. I never did those kinda drugs, but I think most drugs, except weed, is a gateway drug. When I got out of jail, the only person that was free to come pick me up was my JW grandmother. She asked me on our hour long drive if I enjoyed what has become of my life. I told I did. But I didn't I hated myself so thoroughly that I need to figure shit out or die. So I started visiting her and having conversation about what I needed to do to get out my situation. This time, I had a place with a roomate. So I really didn't need to move in with her, there was no desperate need for me to start to attend meetings. At this point I still believed in Jehovah and the organization. So I started going back to meetings, had my elders, got privately reproved. I still continued to closet drink and smoke. I didn't want to do these things, but I was addicted to both. they dont understand that you can't just stop. In order to continue my spiritual growth I moved into my grandmothers house for again. I was so lonely though. I had no friends, I had a drinking problem that hadn't been properly addressed. So, to help with both problems I started going back out to the bars and doing what I was doing before. Drinking, smoking, drugging(cocaine). I led a double life. I started dating a guy that was inactive, but I knew him my whole life. For some weird reason I knew he was the one for me. We were complete opposites. Even through the double life I knew that I needed to stay by his side. I feel that we were meant to be together to save eachother. Him save me from my horrific life, and me save him from being a JW boyman that lives behind is computer screen and only comes out to work. He had a pathetic life and so did I, they were both pathetic in different ways. We got married in June of 2011. I somehow still continued to drink and smoke at bars. I seriously did not like this, but there was this draw that I could not control. I begged my husband to please help me, this isn't who I am. With help from actual doctors and phychatrist, we found I had a personality disorder. No amount of shephearding calls and elders meetings could have helped me as much as these people did. I am now sober, a non smoker and I haven't touched any drugs in a very long time. I do not go to bars and I am a good wife to a man that no longer lives his life on his computer, and he is now a man that is working on reaching his potential. I started college last year, and if everything goes according to plan he will be attending the same school sometime next year.

As for my awakening, It happened this last summer. Because I never got invited to things or had friends I never saw the side of JW's as you all have. It wasn't until I started hanging out with his family more that i noticed their reactions to things, their hatred of those different from them, the world. And then I started to notice other things people would say and do that were odd. I started doing research on it, first the cult like personalitys of the witnesses and then i found out about the false teachings, failed predictions ect. My husband, IMO, is starting to awaken little by little. The more conversations I have with those outside, but close, to the organization, the more he understands why I don't want to be a witness anymore. He now see's what others in the "world" sees. Outside looking in on a cult. We are both working on a fade, I think he still believes in alot of their beliefs, but he is not happy with their treatment of others. I am ok with that, as long as we can lead a normal happy life, he can believe whatever he wants deep down inside. I am free, I am happier than I have ever been in my whole life, because this mental clarity makes me feel on top of the world. Things are so clear cut for me now. There is no question as to what is right or wrong. I feel like I am better than the witnesses as a whole, I love many individuals, but in a group they are lethal.

This is my story. I am not afraid to share the good, the bad, nor the ugly. This is what has made me who I am today. I am not naive and I won't be taken ever again by anyone or any organization. I would rather die than allow that.

happy@last

Wow HB, what an amazing story, wishing you and hubby all the best on your new life together. I've only left once and until I read your story would have said I don't understand why anyone would go back a second time. Everyone's different, I do feel sorry for anyone who thinks they need to go to a cult in order go fix their problems.

LoisLane looking for Superman

HoneyBucket, Thank you for sharing your story. Congratulation on your marriage, college and getting out of JW's. You have been working really hard. I commend that. It takes a lot of courage and self control to get where you are. It is nice to know it can be done.

just Lois