How to defend against shunning

by kenpodragon 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • kenpodragon
    kenpodragon

    We all know that for the most part, many of the people on this board would be shunned in the presence of a active Witness. Since this is a form of projecting negative energy, we should be aware of ways to counter these methods and protect ourselves from doubts and self destructive thoughts.

    Perhaps you have lived this moment. You step into a store and see a active Witness who has known you for years, they walk towards you and then realize who you are and run away with a hateful stair. How do you respond to this? Do you ignore it? Do you say something?

    The fact is, no one can completely ignores something like this. You can't because you are human and you can feel the negative energy they sent to you in their demeanor and it hurt. So what can you do? Well what I love to do is say something positive to disrupt their field.

    "Well it was nice seeing you, take care"
    "Well I still love you, sorry you don't love me"
    "Your looking good these days, sorry we couldn't talk"

    Why such nice statements? Well for one thing, when someone sends a negative message to you and you respond with positive it is like throwing their negative back three fold. It hits them harder then it hit you, to hear you say a kind positive word. It's a very powerful tool, as it leaves you walking away feeling like the better human and makes them look very bad to others around.

    Now let's say it's family and they are shunning you in a hateful hurtful way. I have seen this more times then I care to remember, and read many examples of this online. When these family members come into the room, take the time to notice them and approach them and give them a hug and say "Great to see you!" Which will catch them off guard and drop their energy defenses, because you entered their field and planted a positive into their defenses. To really disrupted them, close the statement with "So glad you made it" or "Your looking great" and walk off. They will be so disrupted that they will have a hard time building up any negative attacks until you are long gone and out of their realm of fire.

    Of course, one of the most positive protections you can make to your energy is your inner self. The part of you that is speaking in your head and telling you what to do, and debating what needs to be done. If this person is saying negative after negative then your field is negative. I know it sounds so cliché, but love yourself and others will be drawn to you ... hate yourself and others will leave you.

    Defend yourself and be prepared for shunning, and practice handling it before it happens. You will not have time to think when it does, and you may take the attack without protection. Enjoy this life and let others know you are positive and care about yourself. Consider positive thinking and energy to be your condom when in the presence of negative shunning, so that you do not walk away with any Witness VD.

  • VioletAnai
    VioletAnai

    Actually I was the one to do the shunning when I was a teen. I ran into my old study conductor in the shopping centre one day, the one who accused me of sleeping with my bro-in-law. She came up to me and asked me how I was going....all dressed in black mind you, with a white face and streaked hair...how the f&*k do you think I'm going! I ignored her and walked away...turned around in time to see her mouth slowly close up and walk away in shock!

    I laugh at the silly bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • anewperson
    anewperson

    V, you post some very odd and pro-Watchtower seeming things at time.

  • SUSCARRA
    SUSCARRA

    Kenpro,

    I'm with you 99.9% on this. It's true, you show them that you are the same loving person that you were when you were a JW and it really takes them back a bit. I saw a sister just the other day and I spoke to her, and she spoke back. I could tell it hurt her that she didn't say more to me. I left it up to her to make more converstion, I know she was embarrassed. She's a woman who had been through numerous negative situations in her life and we helped her through so many of them. The other JWs just talked behind her back and never helped. I still love her and hope that things are going better for her.

    SUSCARRA

  • animal
    animal

    when they came to my door in PA, at my last house... I cut them off and tell them to mark my address as DF'd.... and to never return. having a load of Harleys there didnt hurt either. They never returned.

  • VioletAnai
    VioletAnai

    What are you talking about anewperson???? Yeah, I'm still a little bitter at the INDIVIDUALS in a certain congregation...I guess it eminates thru some of my posts sometimes...but I'm not bitter at the organisation as a whole, just a few s.o.b's.......

    Mad Cow signing off!

  • dungbeetle
    dungbeetle

    Some would certainly see no reason to be angry at an organization whose members are beating, raping and murdering one another at a rate unprecedented in their 120+ year history.

    Some would certainly see no reason to be angry at an organization that publicly calls for the sacrifice of a living child (as J.R.Brown did re: the Canadain 16-year-old).

    Some would certainly see no reason to be angry at an organization that calls for the expulsion/shunning of children; and the expulsion/shunning of rape and molestion victims; and the expulsion/shunning of battering victims.

    Whatever were you thinking, anewperson?

    ((((((anew)))))

  • alamb
    alamb

    I have a favorite I fall back on when I bump into one of the elite:

    I simply whisper, "I found out what they don't want you to know."
    Kind of sticks in the craw....

    p.s. there is still a small group who support me and know the wrong done. One of them came up to me and hugged me and whispered I Love You in my ear in full view. That's a friend.

  • Amazing
    Amazing

    Before I was officially DA'd, I would run into JWs who shunned me anyway. I walked into the store one time and saw two couples talked in the aisle. I waled by them to the next aisle, and heard them talking about me, some saying they would not talk to me, and one saying that I was not DF'd yet.

    I then walked around the corner and walked right up to them. here is what happened:

    1. One JW woman got really nervous and started walking backwards, cringing, as though she thought I might hit her.

    2. The other JW woman stared at the goods on the shelves and refused to acknowledge me.

    3. One JW man just stared at me with a frown, but listened.

    4. The other JW man started jabbering in a nervous talk, trying to say nice things.

    Clearly, all these individuals were far more nervous and upset. I stood there with my beard, leather jacket, and smiled. I told them all it was good to see them, and I looked back at the one women stepping backwards cringing, and told her to relax, that I was not going to bite her. I thanked the one JW man for being cordial and talking ... and wished them all well, and left.

    I remember not long after I became a JW, sometime in late 1970, I ran into a DF'd JW man whom I knew somewhat ... and liked him ... and I started jabbering nervously, as he shook his head to signal me to stop talking to him ... I could never totally get the hang of the shunning thing.

    Today, I never see JWs that I know. But once in a while I will run across one, and I talk to them ... but I never discuss my background with their religion ... some feel obligated to mention that they are DF or DA ... but I don't. I simply talk to them as though I was never a JW ... unless they were to ask me.

    A Jw man did ask me several years ago ... he asked if I ever studied with the JWs, and I said yes, I did study at one time ... he closed his breifcase and walked away in a huff. He was a Circuit Overseer ... the kind that look like Larry King, but have a high-voltage stare in their eyes. The Elder with him looked emabrassed and apologized as he left.

    Later that day, I called the Elder because I knew his name ... but he did not remember me ... and I had an hour long discussion about the CO's behavior ... and he agreed that the CO acted like a jack-ass ... funny thing, the Elder never knew I was a JW ... but was honest enough to admit that the CO was wrong. [8D}

    Following Bible principles, we will avoid trying to live - or demand others to live - by an extensive and rigid set of dos and don'ts that go beyond the teachings of the Bible. The Watchtower, 4-15-02, pg 22, pp 15

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