Hiya Marilyn

by VioletAnai 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  VioletAnai

  I have been part of the 'alternative music scene' since I was 15. I should know backstabbers, it's part of the scene.

  I was molested and shot at at 6, I remembered my abuse and the near death experience under the knife at 14, Accused of being demon-possessed, prayed over and my cd's and books burnt at 15, I became an alco and depressive/agoraphobic and got in a lot of trouble with people at 15, I was accused of things I don't want to mention at the moment at 16, My own older sister stabbed me in the back and I was left homeless at 17, I received counselling for the abuse at 18, My little sister told me she had been abused for 8 years by my little brother and I had to carrying this for over a year at 22, I started studying the bible again at 23, and I have been critisized eva since for trying to better my life.....

  And I had to deal with family ridicule because I was 'weird, black witch/death' whateva they decided to call me at the time. My sister was also critisized by family because she was weird. When they found out what had happened to her, they were willing to accept her for what she was, a mixed up, miserable, alone girl. Shunning because I'd left the jw's and my friends, people telling me what I was feeling wasn't important and my memories are shady to say the least. I got no support, friends turned into the worst of enemies, and I sank into deep depression, all the while doing it alone because no one understood me, I was just crazy or demon possessed to them.

  Friends have not turned out to be 'friends', failing me completely....and all the while you couldn't have asked for a better friend from me. I just gave and gave and gave...maybe that was my problem. Anyway I got sick of giving and everyone taking, and I mean, everyone I've come across, I'm not being dramatic here Marilyn...

  So, if family and friends can treat you like the worst of enemies (and I wouldn't even treat my enemies that way!), can you blame me for being so bitter and not trusting?

  I do see the insensitivity of the world, people only caring for their own, if that....and ignoring the rest of the world, or only giving lip service to the world's plight....it's pathetic.

  Maybe I'm too sensitive and kind. Maybe I should start becoming a hard arse.

  Ok done raving now.....

  Mad Cow signing off!
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  ros

  Hello, and welcome.
  I don't know what to say except thanks for the courage to tell your poignant story. Don't let the world get you down. When it gets right down to it, we all go through this life alone in one way or another. Hang in there and keep trying to do what you believe is good. If you can trust yourself, then you're your own best friend, and that's the most important thing. You'll find others, too, and know you're not really alone.

  Blessings,

  Ros
  "A religion that teaches lies cannot be true"--The Watchtower, 12/1/91 pg. 7
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  VioletAnai

  Marilyn, continued:

  I'm not alarmed about this board's feelings towards the wt. They are blinded by their own personal experiences and have filled their hearts with bitterness. Some, I agree, have been treated absolutely dispicably by the org, yet they hold onto grudges and therefore the healing process cannot be completed. So they go in a vicious cycle, never really getting over their pain, because they are too short-sighted to realize they've got to work out their problems and not just accuse an org who isn't going to listen anyway...

  The bible states that once apostates have given themselves over to their selfish thinking, they are blinded...and have no hope....

  Have any of you real apostates actually thought that satan has led you away, by the thorn in your side - a very useful tool for him, cause he can get right under the skin and jab and jab and jab away at your doubt, or your pain or your granoise ideas....

  As I grow and mature and rationalize all information that passes between these ears, I come to a realisation that what I'd given away in the past was absolutely priceless - there is a sense of community, there will always be one with the jw's.

  People here are hypocrites. They blast the jw's because they couldn't give personal opinions or interpretations of the bible, or because they disagreed with the way the org was dealing with something. Then you come to this board and the same thing is happening. There is bitterness, anomosity, ridicule, rudeness, arrogance, blatant lying, hardheartedness, unwillingness to change or become open to change, ostracisism, class distinction....you're worse than any active jw!!!!!!!!!!!!

  APOSTATES ARE WANKERS

  Mad Cow signing off!
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  Pathofthorns

  Hey Violet..

  I am sorry things happened to give you such a jaded outlook. The world is as you percieve it. I agree alot of people are assholes out there.

  But alot of these same people when you meet them at a certain level are pretty nice and decent. Sometimes you just have to get to know them. I also thing much depends on us.

  I don't think many of us here really think JWs are bad people. We often take our frustrations out on them, and maybe that's not entirely right but kind of understandable.

  Hopefully if you feel the need to belong to a group, you can investigate some of the many out there. I hope you find what you are looking for and can feel good about things.

  Path
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  teejay

  Hello, Violet.

  You’ve had a rough life and it takes a rare courage to face it and then tell others about it. It makes sense to me that you would be looking for some level of security and trust from others. I’m thinking that from where you sit, Jehovah’s Witnesses offer just the place. Know what I think? Might be worth a try.

  Like I’ve said many times... there are definite advantages to being a JW. I started a thread long time ago. You might want to read it. It’s at http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=6158&site=3. Then too, when I started the “are you happy” thread the other day, I had YOU in mind. (I meant to dedicate it to you, but I forgot. ) It might be worth your reading, too.

  If you do, tell me what you think.

  peace,
  tj - an apostate wanker