Help! How Can I Tell Someone No? What's The Best Way To Decline Free Professional Help?

by AuntConnie 7 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • AuntConnie
    AuntConnie

    I think I created a monster, last year I spent time helping someone do something they should have done for themself. Now, after each Meeting the sister is hitting me up for help with something she can afford to pay a professional. I am having to duck, hide and run as fast as possible when I see the sister rubber-necking it to find me. Ten hours of time I wasted that could have been donated to people with real financial needs. Now that I am the "mark", I woud like some advice on, not so kindly telling this sister "I helped you last year and you offered me nothing, not even a fricken "Thank You Card'!

    With my business I am use to various tasks of all opperations of the business, the sister has money to hire a consultant to help her clean up her mess, but think's I should be the one to use my free time (I work ten hours a day, service and meetings burn up the rest of my feeble life). I feel stupid I opened up Pandora's Box and she will not stop calling my house. How can I stop the user from bothering me, she is telling the friends at the Kingdom Hall I owe her help, she has a reputation for burning through people's time without ever offering a penny!

    How would you put a end to this, I feel like Dumby for helping her in the first place, instead of keeping my mouth shut while she whined and whimpered about her money and husband problems, out jump's the words "I can help you." I thought it would take only a few hours, because of her needy nature it took hours and hours of time, because she could not understand the simple explanations I used, I started to use Crayolas with Sock puppets leading to more time to sit down and hold her hand through a easy business process. How do I destroy the Frankenstein of endless phone calls, letters and complaints to the elders that "Aunt Connie promised to help me and now she is hiding from me!" I helped her once, and told her to find someone else and she won't leave me alone. I wish I could say '' off!.

    My ten posts are up, any advice on avoiding or putting a end to the black-hole of 'I need you help" phone calls would be appreciated. I can't comment or thank you until the clock resets on the board in ten hours.

    Thank's Satanus for being the first person to post, she feel's the congregation owes her for being her.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Give her the business cards of some pros to do whatever it is. Or, even rip a page out of the yellow pages and give that to her, the freeloader. Tell her that your very busy, and your time is worth more than she can afford. If she does offer to pay, you can do one of two things: tell she has to pay up front, or tell her you were joking, and you just can't do it no more.

    S

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    I have been self employed for yrs and yup, i can be a tough bastard, if i'm pushed too far.

    S

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Tell her what you just told us, then block her phone # or use caller ID so that you don't answer her calls.

    If she doesn't like it, tell her to grow up and deal with it herself or ask her Elders for financial advice 'cos she ain't getting any more from you.

    What are the Elders likely to do? Complain about it? DF you for not helping her?............ I don't think so!

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    Aunt Connie your a walking terror on this site and you don't know what to say to this miserable excuse for a sister? Needy.......... my arse. Take her for a one way ride.....smack her with a rolled up watchtower since it's half of what it once was it will not hurt her but getting smacked in the nose will drive home the leave me the hell alone point.

    When she's at the Hall attach toilet paper to the back of her dress....let her walk around trailing a TP tail behind her.....that always works.

    This situation calls for imagination and flair.

  • Splash
    Splash

    Tell her that her introductory free consultation has all been used up, but if she still wants to she can make an appointment to see you, to draw up a contract of work between yourselves.

    Splash

  • tornapart
    tornapart

    AC, use your brilliant sharp sarcastic wit to tell her she's had enough free professional advice off you and it's time she either paid some other professional for their help or else she will have to pay you for your valuable time.

  • wasblind
    wasblind

    Aunt Connie

    You are a Jehovah's witness. Lead by example

    continue to " Show love among yourselves "

    Stop duckin' and dodgin ' and do more . you can do extra and increase

    the time spent and excert yourself becuase she's a sister in the " Faith "

    Your a Jehovah's Witnesses, your supposed to feel like a dummy

    so why would you expect her to understand the words that come out of your mouth

    for her to comprehend would lead to independant thinkin'

    And that would make Jehovah sad

    Move Ahead Aunt Connie

    .

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