When I was nearing my personal crossroads about whether to leave the religion or stay, I wrote an allegorical tale to help me put into perspective just where I was at and what was at stake. I ended up making my final choice a few months later. I thought I’d share it here as perhaps some can relate to it:
The wind rustled through the mostly bare trees of the forest. The autumn sky was gray and seemed to cast a foreboding presence to the surroundings. The traveler looked wistfully back at the path that he had come so far on. There had been some difficult even treacherous parts to it but most of it had been familiar to him.
He paused to get his bearings knowing some important decisions had to be made for he was soon to come to a fork. He had been thinking about this intersection for a long time now. He had somehow always known that it was coming. The map was somewhat vague but he knew he was very close now. While resting he thought about his journey up to this point. He had set out on this quest with other travelers who had taught him many things. Two of these fellow voyagers had especially been influential to him. They warned him about this fork for they always feared that he might choose to take the unfamiliar path. Alas these two were no longer traveling but had their journeys cut short by death.
He thought too about the one other especially close companion that he had traveled far with. He had enjoyed many adventures with her and had learned from her. He still felt confused thinking about the way she had left the path completely for a while, striking off into the woods no longer staying near to him. He had been told she would always be there to help him on his way. Lately she had come back to his path but was back on the trail a ways.
Gathering up his pack he walked on. As he went he thought about his own feelings about the coming fork. The guidebook talked about the path that went off to the left. It described totally new terrain – challenging, exciting and very different from anything on the path up to this point. The traveler had gotten quite bored with his journey. There were many things he enjoyed about his present path but part of him felt a strong yearning to explore in a new way. Of course, both sides of the coming fork promised new territory but the guidebook said the right side of the fork was pretty much the same type of terrain that he had been on for so long.
Looking ahead through the wooded path the traveler spotted an opening not far ahead. Intrigued, he began jogging and soon reached a point where the forest stopped and he came out into an open meadow. He could see across the clearing to the distinct point where there was a clear divergence, the long awaited fork. The path to the left headed up a steep incline and then disappeared from view. The path to the right was one filled with some ups and downs but could be seen all the way to the far distant horizon.
About halfway across the meadow the traveler saw an inviting brook with moss-covered rocks surrounding it. Walking over to it, he sat down on one of the rocks to once again gather his thoughts before making his final decision. He gazed ahead, studying the fork and the paths. As he was looking in that direction there suddenly appeared two men coming towards him having emerged from each of the two paths. The two men met at the fork and proceeded to walk together as they approached the traveler. They appeared to be having a heated argument but the traveler could not make out any of the words. After a few minutes they reached the brook and sat down near the traveler. The three men studied each other briefly before the two men each greeted the traveler.
The man emerging from the path to the right was the first to talk.
“Greetings, traveler. My name is Herbert and I am very glad to have reached you before you made it to the fork. Under no circumstances are you to go to the left. I have traveled many miles on the path to the right and I can guarantee your safety. The footing is good and you’ll be well protected.
“The other path, though, is wrought with danger. I have heard disturbing reports of both the terrain and those who travel it. They are an unkempt lot and care little for the rules we abide by and the way of life we cherish.”
At this point the man from the path to the left interjected himself into the conversation.
“I also welcome you most esteemed traveler. My name is Tristan and having just come from the left path. I am so glad to take this opportunity to invite you to take this route. Don’t listen to Herbert. He is so stiff and boring it’s little wonder he likes that right path.
“Yes, we do have different rules. I say this with pride. We are freethinkers not bound by the dictates or precepts of any group. What is life without some excitement, yes, even some danger? You will see new things and experience a different kind of life on our path. We promise you the fulfillment of your dreams.”
The traveler sat quietly trying to digest the information and choices presented while Tristan and Herbert glared at each other. He felt pulled by both directions. On the one hand, the safety and security of traveling a path familiar to him held a certain appeal. On the other hand, the excitement of unseen vistas and traveling with less restrictions stirred his heart.
The traveler addressed the two men:
“Thank you both for meeting me here. It is true I am at a very important crossroads. Herbert, you must realize that what you present as being benefits of the path to the right are the very things that push me away. I want to do things MY way. I want to travel freely. I am sick and tired of wearing this hiking costume every day. I want to dress and groom myself as I see fit. I want to at least see what the other people see and make up my own mind.
“And Tristan, I find your offer very enticing. But danger can also be a bad thing. What if I get hurt? I know the people on the right path care about me and will look after me. Can you offer the same? I must also ask, where does the left path ultimately lead to? The path to the right I am told leads to the Undying Lands eventually.”
Tristan quickly replied: “Oh, I suppose such a place really does exist but you must be aware that just being on the path does not mean you’ll make it to the Undying Lands. The caretakers of the path to the right have so many rules and regulations that must be met for you to make it to your goal. They try to say their path is the better one even without having the Undying Lands as your final destination. I think you’d agree with me that that is crazy to think that way. Honestly I don’t know where my path will end but at least you’ll be enjoying the journey. At least you’ll be discovering the real you, the one that has lain hidden for so long. Think of the inner peace that will bring you!”
Herbert began clapping in a sarcastic manner. “Well done both of you” he sneered. “Just thinking of the present, not a care in the world about your futures. I pity you both. Traveler, what of all the people that have supported you along the path for so many years? Think especially of your two close traveling companions that are no longer with you. What would they think of you? How disappointed they would be if you chose the wrong path, the one they warned you about for so long! Think too of the real freedom you’ll have when we reach the Undying Lands!”
The traveler replied, “I know, Herbert. What you say pangs my conscience. But, you see, it is not as simple as that. I have tried for many years to follow this path the way I have been told to. I have tried very much to come to like the hiking costume I was given. I have honestly tried to like the conformity that you desire all to have that follow the path to the right. I just can’t seem to get it right. What Tristan says resonates with me. I fear I’ll take your path and never make it to the Undying Lands and in choosing that direction, I’d also lose out on my journey of self-discovery.”
The traveler stood up and began to prepare himself to continue on towards the fork. As he stood up his hair fell across his face and upon his upper shoulders. Noticing this, Herbert said, “Know one thing, friend, you’ll be needing to cut that mane of hair before proceeding. That does not go well with the hiking costume you’ve been provided.”
Tristan sprang to his feet saying, “Thank you, Herbert, for proving my point! There you go again with your petty rules. Why must the traveler wear that costume? Why must he trim what God has given him? He should celebrate it!”
Having put on his pack, the traveler turned to the two men and said, “Well, it’s still a little ways to the fork. Why don’t you both accompany me?” They nodded their assent and the three headed along the path to the approaching fork.