you mean I don't know everything?!!!

by emperorslaundrist 4 Replies latest jw friends

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  emperorslaundrist

  I was a true blue dyed-in-the-wool starry-eyed believer until six months ago. I've since been on a reading binge, everything my 'spiritual diet' never allowed before. Bible commentaries, 'Apostate' books, Occult, Evolutionists, Taoism, Shamanism, Philosophy and even my first trashy romance novel

  Apart from my suprise that I haven't grown fangs or a tail, and that my prayers haven't been listened to any more or any less then before- It's starting to dawn on me how arrogent and ignorant I was/am. I never made worldly friends because I knew they were all going to die and deserved it, I never participated in fun activities because I was above such silly things. I didn't need college, what could it possibly have to teach me? Oh, those silly scholars of christendom, how suprised they are going to be to learn they were all wrong. Also, since the level of research and scholarship among JW's is soooo low I used to be able to do a little 'research' and be regarded as an expert by the adults around me. It's seems like such an obvious thing but now I'm realizing that this doesn't cut it as 'proof' in the 'world'. No wonder my teachers were annoyed by me.

  Strangely, now that I am less 'spiritual', people in my kingdom hall like me a whole lot more (in for hubby, proceeding cautiously). People in general like me a whole lot more actually, and for a person with aspergers this is a huge deal. As I'm showing more empathy and acceptance to others It's starting to spread to how I treat myself, and I'm finding lots and lots of emotions I had completly cut off from my awareness.

  The keys to my mental prison was knowledge, letting go of specialness, and accepting others. Being a JW we were taught that we knew better then everybody else on earth. No wonder they had to define humility as submitting to the GB- what other type was left?

  Thanks for listening

  -Emp of the happy-to-be-an-apostate class :)
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  NeverKnew

  I can't wait to share this with my friend - when I think he's ready to see it.

  Thanks for posting. :)
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  Newly Enlightened

  Awesome post. Welcome! That is also about the same time Hubby & I became awake thanks to a dear friend of ours. It's amazing isn't it, when you start to get an entire new mind-set and get the cult cobwebs out? We find ourselves being more tolerant of others even 'worldly' people and have made some really good friends.

  Congrats on your new life and we're happy to have you here with us.

  Peace
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  Mum

  So proud of you, emp! It's hard to crack that shell and then look out and realize there's nothing to be afraid of. It's also very liberating. It feels like the world has been lifted off your shoulders, eh?

  I have been out of the borg since 1979, and have been on a learning quest ever since. Right now I'm learning machine shorthand so I can have a retirement career as a court reporter. I'm aware that I need to hone my math skills as well, so I've been going on youtube and taking math lessons. I used to think I "couldn't" do math, but I've learned that anyone can learn anything. It just takes me longer to "get it" with math. When I would take a class, I would always get a couple of lessons behind and never get caught up, so thank the people who invented the internet so I can go at my own pace and watch lessons over and over as many times as it takes to sink in.

  I need more physical activity, so that's next.

  Once, in the '70's, I believe, I remember a quotation from a WT article that said (I'm not kidding!) that if you are bored, it is because you are boring, because you walk on endless fields of variety every day. You're now walking on those fascinating fields, and I'm so happy for you. Welcome to the freedom to decide for yourself what you want to learn and do with your life.
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  snare&racket

  A fantastic and succinct review of how many of us 'lost our religion'. The more I learn the more I realise how much humanity knows and how little I do.

  I am 6 years into a science education (biology, medicine)... I started it as soon as I reached your stage. I was blown away at how little the JWs really knew and how much the average higher educated student (50% of UK population) likely knew. It hit me then ..NO WONDER.. I couldn't drag these people into the dark ages with JW literature, they know too much!

  The best the JWs can hope for is to retain who they have got and ensure their kids stay kit. With the Internet being such a dominating force in information access in the modern world, this will not last.

  it's funny, when I first started learning things, I was so excited by them, I shared them with friends and family. Instead of them being amazed and in wonder, they just appeared scared and very doubtful. That's all you have to do.... Make someone DOUBT the other side, you don't need to convince them, just give them means to doubt... And they will do the rest, defending their beliefs, which they claw on to for emotional reasons. I literally heard a J.w say to me that she believed all geologists and palaeontologists were conspiring against the JW's.

  so well done for being brave and inspired by human knowledge, isn't it SOOOOOOO exciting! I wish we had the years to devour it all, oh well... Instead I thrive on science, particularly biology and physics, and even then I can only find time for the bare bones of it due to other commitments (my degree).

  Enjoy being the one eyed (wo)man in the land of the blind, but with power comes great responsibility ;) xxxx

  snare